[SarKarsM]

Writers block

2005-07-04T02:46:00.000-07:00

It's getting incredibly harder for me to write, to blog these days. It seems that the part of my brain responsible for verbal faculties has suddenly atrophied! I really don't know what will get me to write on reflex! It used to be so easy. Nowadays, it takes several days for me to stew and simmer my thoughts to give textual form to the intangible images floating in my mind. Several days of stewing that translates to a paltry,one-paragraph entry.
Urrrfffff........kya yahi writers block hai???.....koi mere is haath se pooche...

Blogging for the sake of blogging

2005-06-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

How does it feel when u move from a city whihc calls a rain that lasts exactly 2 hours as a downpour to a city where it rains for 23hours and 45 minutes in a day non stop?....Welcome to Pune......it is raining so heavily that this city will be so full of Cats and dogs in some time.....and when u have a college that decides to eat up 16 hours of ur precious time everydy.......well u have nothing better to do than to crib...and that is what I am trying to do.
the clothes I washed at 1:13 in the morning 3 days ago are not dry at..(yes I now carry out house hold chores like washing dishes, washing clothes and every other washing except the washing myself part cos there is no time for such non sense.) And thanx to the rains, the gurlsd these days come fully dressed and thus the main inspiration for going to college is also down the drain.....yaaawn, now give me one good reason to go to college.......Sheesh I cant think of any reason whatsoever.......phhhbbbbttt......and btw this is the most bland post on this blog and that is cos I am blogging for the sake of blogging....jus so that this blog doesnt die a unnoticed death......maybe I will blog a better one later......

Concentration camp

2005-06-12T02:07:00.000-07:00

First post from Pune town....if u thot me is enjoying the chicks, the food and the weather....think again. I am sorry to be cribbin straight off but thats the way it is...I am in concentration camp, where classes start at an unearthly hour of 7:00 in the morning(Yoga, Gym n Aerobics....)....and tyhey go all the way upto sometimes 11:00 in the night. We work 7 days a week yes, even sat and sunday...the only off is on a thursday where we need not come to college....but need to do some crappy social service....not that I dont want to but certtainly not on my off..............Gaaaaaawwwwdddd.....
Ok now for the best part....My class has a minority commitee, they are called the Boys........so that statement shudlet u know what the situatuion is like......but then as it always goes, Women are like domain names....the good ones are already taken......phhhbbbtttt....
I am here at acafe from college....habve another 2 minutes before me attend next class.....btw, if u thot we r lewarning metaphysuics....then worry not, me learning films, me learning ads......so classes are basically screenings of films like the matrix......guess me shudnt crib too much abt this place shud I...
My mobile number has changed, ppl say neer give out info like this over the internet, but me give a damn to the ules.....so here it is.......Wonder who will even bother calling....hehehe9890704523

I repeat 9890704523

End of chapter 1

2005-06-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

All people familiar with me will know that getting my hair cut is one of my favorite passtimes And today I decided to indulge in this pastime of mine for the last time in hyderabad...and here I am with prakash, the regular stylist(Thoda posh bana deta hoon barber ko) getting my hair cut. In the process of some phaltu talk, I let this dude know that probbly I will not be comin back for atleast another 2 years. After the haircut is done, a by-now gloomy prakash tells me"Saab, ab hum haircut karte waqt kiske saat mazaak karenge, Kaun hasaayega hame baal kaat the waqt?...kabhi mauka milaa to zarror aana, hum aapko bahut miss karenge."......For that moment, I suddenly felt important.
Yes as Everybody wud have guessed by now this is probably my Adieu message to all....To everybody who have touched me and my life(Perverts, I am talking of the sentimental touch, the so cliched touch of greeting cards....Ufff kya zamaana hai..). It has been an Honour to know every single one of you...seriously it has been.
This city has showed me all kinds of people, and I have made all kinds of friends in here, from the best to the bestest lot. This is an adieu to everyone of you. Andy, Ashray, Mayank my friends since as long as my memory goes(Baad memory I have)....it was simbbbllllyyy amaajing the times we spent....will miss every second fo that, diya included.....To Navid, Tamzid, Fayaz, Brajesh, Tashi, Sana, satish.....I still cant believe 3 years have gone by so quickly...it was truly an Honour....and lastt but not the least, the blogging community..Sita, Akshata, Ajay...thanq for it all....
Gosh I am making it sound like i am off to kargil to kick some pakistani booty......okie enuf senti, wipe the tears, Rohit is still here, just 12 hours away, one phone call away...and what worse, so is his blog...
Finally, I propose a toast in the name of all of u people ...."Oh toast I love theee verrry much".....Sheeesh, even the tost rejected me......what phuti kismat...I tell u......Cya arnd

Cliche

2005-05-26T13:34:00.000-07:00

It has been raining treats this summer for me, atleast it is raining something. The verrry fact that I am leaving for Pune has got so many people excited that they are throwing parties. But then, I keep thinking if these treats showered upon me is because everybody thinks this is the last time they will get to treat me or they are all soexcited that they will not have to see this horrendous figure anywhere in hyderabad for the next 2 years and cannot hide their happiness........but either way, as long as I am getting treated....I dont give a rats ass to it...........thank u to all u angels and angelas out there who have helped this garib find his do waqt ki roti.
Do waqt ki roti brings me to the point I wanted to discuss so many times on this blog, but never got the waqt. the ever so Cliched bollywood....and how it manages to sell its crap.
the Andhi maa, the berozgaar baap, Sheru the pet, the villain who makes passes at thy maa when u r young and ofcourse a brother who turns the opp to what u r(sometimes I suspect infidelity, how can god and bad come from the same Coke....I mean womb).....oh I forgot the sis who ties rakhi and gives u her saugandh every year. lets skip the heroine, cos I dont want to get into the issues of running around trees singing, rain rain come again!
the days of the eastman color movies are gone, but the cliches have gone no where. even today the villains will come to attack the hero one by one. They may come in a bunch of 15, but they will mantain one hand distance and finger on the lips action while the hero pitafies each one of them singularly.
Oh and have u noticed, how it begins to rain everytime somebody close to the hero dies in the open, and how the thunder rumbles when an angry convo is happ btw the hero and somebody else, and not to forget how the wid blows exactly when the heroine tries to adjust the pallu of her sari......hmm the association of the weather and bollywood is a long one...really long one
And the mobile phones are the most under utilized piece of equipment in bollywood except for breaking into wierd sonngs ike what is mobile number......otherwise, when the need arises, the mobile does the dissapearing act.For example, when the heros bro meets with an accident, (it will begin to rain), the hero will now not ask for an ambulnce, he will instead go from door to door shouting help help in hindi......Use thy mobile duh dial 1091 Appolo emergency, dont try Yashoda, cos they r hoping that u will never need them....
and last but not the least, how the hero smells a rapist as soon as the pallu of the saree is taken off or worst comes worst, the blouse is torn from a strategic location to satisfy the Censors....is it tan ki durgand? is it lack of deo spray used by the rape victims, or is it a defence mechanism that these women in films posses like a fish which releases a stench when attacked upon?.......I simply fail to understand....yet, I am slave to the bollywood......
God save me!

2005-05-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

If u are wondering why I havent posted for so long....then I saw this thing the other day that made me think....and now I am revelling in the after affects of putting my idle brain to work without even oiling it ....
Check this out, I am sure u will get thinking too.
EPIC Program in 2016
Getting back to thinking...will post soon...btw, where have the comments died?....I am contemplating taking the comments box off my blog to save the embarresment of seeing 1 comment in a post I posted a decade ago.....

Vrrrrrrrrooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm

2005-05-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

Having been an avid F1 follower for quite a while, I admired the ability of these masterful drivers to drive those mean monsters on a neat and clean piece of track. When Narain Karthikeyan got into the F1 scene, it was a bigger moment of pride and I thot the world of him...and I did so till I visited Kerala.
IF u ever are to visit kerala, take one of those bus rides on the private busses that ply. the busses are no monsters compared to the frearis and the BMW's, but these brown and pink painted busses with names like "Beenamol"/"Shibin"/Golden Star", and their ever in a hurry drivers make the ultimate combination for a speed junkie. On roads that are just wide enuf for 2 bicycles to pass thru, these busses zoom past at speeds of 80+mph.
we admire the F1 drivers for manuevering those hi speed machines controlled by electronic chips across tracks that were built to handle the kind of conditions these cars put them in. Spare a thot for the bus drivers here who achieve the same feat on a rickety bus and on tracks that were not meant to be driven on. With Narain karthikeyan driving that yellow machine, the probability of him makin a podium finish is as remote as it raing in hyderabad at the moment....but I believe if v were to replace him with one of those drivers from kerala busses, we mite soon see the monaco grandprix having a new winner. the bus stands are a scene worth watching. these busses come in at high speeds and the cunductor then raps the name of the destination it is headed to in a manner which 50cents wud be proud of....all this while the impatient driver keeps acceerating his bus at neutral. the sole aim of all these drivers is that Beenamol shud get to position x before shymlee(and no shymlee is also not elated to bruce lee)
the transport system there is so precise that ppl schedule thier lves as per the convienice of the busses. So if the 10:30 Shibumon is gone, then the dude will skip his day at office and call in sick.and as u have already noticed, the perverse interest in naming all the busses with nouns synonymous of names of human beings......so as u walk by, dont be surprised if somebody asked u "has haritha gone already?" I spent 15 minutes racking my grey cells and digging into my geneology encyclopaedia to find out who this haritha was and how she was related to me, and ofcourse whether she had gone to wherever?.....it was only when a red colored bus zoomed in witha yellow board on top whihc read Haritha, did i realise who the dude was reffering to......phhhhbpt
I cud actually go on and on abt the different observations I made at these places......but I guess I will stop here......cos this gives me more topics to blog abt in the future..
But i seriously plan to shoot an email to bernie ecclestone askin him to give on of these drivers a shot at F1, I am sure they will give the schumis n the raikonens a run for their money.....vrooom vrooom vrooooooooom......
I guess it is time for Rohit to go now....and no I dont mean the Bus Rohit.....i mean me....adios...vroom vrooooooooooooooooom

The Most expensive Post ever

2005-05-09T05:44:00.000-07:00

This is by all means my most expensive post ever. Do u realise that I have jus walked 1 mile in this scorching evening sun(I cant come here after sunset cos this place shuts down), and am currently paying 35Bucks an hour to enjoy a connection that snaps every 10 minutes and gives me a download speed that Adam n Eve might have had during their time..
And guess what, it took me 3 days to actually find this place cos there is no sign of an internet parlour outside. Actually this aint no internet parlour by any means. It has 1 2 computers that Salar Jung wud be proud of, it has a rickety fan that makes a nice little tune which u cud hear in Hindi cinema soon if Anu malik were to visit this place and above all, this place serves cool drinks like, Golden sun(Fanta), Super Rider(some COla..). Oh u also get a bill for surfing here.
How is vacation in kerala u might ask....hmmm, kerala is fun, its an amazxing place....after all it is "Gods Own Country"......but I wud love it if God took some interest into a few things happening in his country.
Electricity for starters, is an indicator of the meteorology departemnt.... any wind above the speed of 5kmph and the wires snap, if rain's are just 2 hours away, the power snaps and god forbid if u r in for a thunderstorm, then dont expect power to be back for the next couple of days.....phew...all this at a temp of 35 and a humidity level of god only knows what....Phewwww.....
Petition number 2 to god is about the Cable television that ur country has to offer. 40 channels is a good thing if u can spread a good variety among the 40. BUt when u have an option of 35 regional channels, 2 religious channels and 1 Arabian Channel, then its Alarm Bells........Puhleeeeesss god, Get in the HBO, get in MTV atleast get in FTV, I am so friggin tired of Surya, Sun, Kiran and all the other synonyms of the SUN god.....
Finally, the last petition, send some bandwith over to this part of the world. I cannot bear to see ppl actually tryin to download songs at 0.34bytes per second. It pains to see such desperate bandwidth poor citizens....

But rest aside, this place rocks. The food is amazing, th lakes are always full of water, the food is even more amazing, the fish is in Unlimited supply..........and the foooood is simbly superb.....
hmmm..I better post this soon cos I can see the winds gaining speed, last thing now is the power to snap before i publish this longest post of mine...(Did I hear somebody say UPS..phhhbtt...)....
btw, I guess I have taken full fayida of my 35 bucks....longest post in some time I shud say...
me off for some more amazing fooooood.........
*GOD, please consider petition 1, 2 carefully.........please do...

In conversation with.....

2005-05-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

I think I deserve a break from life.....NO more computers, no more TV no more anything...jus me and nature.........Am hitting Bglr today and then move on to Kerala to meet my roots........and in that place, internet is a distant dream. SO that means no more posts till 19May......
Coconut water, Sea food, Swimming in the lakes, here i come........
......
in the words of Karan Johar.....
"In conversation with the most boring person on earth, Rohit Raj......do go anywhere, we will be right back after the break to bore you more...."

101 New Messages

2005-04-29T13:04:00.000-07:00

I'm about to sleep and my mobile fone blinks in pitch black darkness. WTF, not another SMS spam. I don't want to download a"Nuvvu naato ikada thudu" ringtone nor do i want to take Rahul Dravid on a date, and I am quite happy with my bike, I dont need no maruti car that u give everyday. Me want to go to sleep.
Ever since Hutch has made SMS free within its network, I have found new admirers in my frends who refuse to sleep without smsing me gudnite at 2:00AM.
and then there is the friggin question aire senders, whoput ur gray cells to test with questions like
"Would you save the one you love or someone who loves you?"
.....Halllooo ppl, I am no beauty and this aint no beauty pageant.....Y the f*&^ are u askin me this.....all i ask of is some sleep.

What is worse is the crapyola like sms messages u get....
the following is a prayer from the lakshmipathy balaji temple.
Om LalluSonia namaha
Malllika kapde nahin pahanaha
Tu jaa doob maraha
If u dont send this message to 10 ppl, bad luck will fall upon u.

Y dont u realise, if i sent it to 10 ppl, i wud be charged 10 friggin bucks, which is as bad as any bad luck.
Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss.........I beg of u all spamers, I do not want to win prizes, I dont care a rats ass abt Chiranjeevi Ringtones and I believe God is within and dont need no prayer from AbeyKuruvilla temple to get rid of my bad luck syndrome.
..........I simply fail to wonder the situation when Hutch decides to make all otugoing frm Hutch to hutch free.........
last thing i want at 2 in the night is creeepy female voice tellin me "My Rohit, we have a wunderful washing machine which cud be yours if u answer the following 3 questions..."
One tight Slap.....
*how peaceful were those days when there were no mobile phones.......How so peaceful........

Be right Byaaack

2005-04-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

This is the longest vacation i ever took from blogging I guess...hmm cant blame me though. Well considering the fact that I have no exams to study for, no more college to go to, no more CAT coaching classes to attend and Nothing else to do, how do u expect me to find time for blogging. Actually I wudnt even have bothered putting this post up, but then Sita so graciously printed this Obituary of me n my blog, that it was time to remind u earthly beings of my existence.
The Rohit phenomenon is not over yet. I will be back, in an hour, a day, a week or a month......but I sure will be back........
Actually, I think its now time to spruce this blog up a bit.....maybe start posting everyday n stuff.....hmmm......nice proposition.
but or now, lemme get back to what i was doin......"Nothing"......aand when I am done....I shall be right back.

Superhero

2005-04-19T04:37:00.000-07:00

This is a story of a world where there are a lot of women, and no men. there is also one more thing that is in plenty in this land.... Technology. I have been brought up to learn the hard fact that women and technology simply do not go hand in hand....they simply dont.
Now comin back to my story, in this wonderland, with the advent of technology and the lack of understanding of technology by women lead to a lot of problems......they lived in darkness cos some of em dint know how to change a light bulb, some froze to death in winter, cos they refused to understand how the friggin AC cud be switched off......well we are talkin of the 80% female population of this world here.....the 80% who simply fail to understand technology......NOw this population tries its best to face the problem, but with the situation aggravating by the day, it was time to do what they do best......So a bunch of jokers walk upto a mandir and matha thekafy in front of the bhagwaaan....they pray for safety they pray for a rakshak.
*Thunder blazes, lightning strike, and more thunderr rumbles.....(Fullto Filmi style)....and then it begins to rain...and rain hard.......and then another lightning strikes and a Voila...A super Hero is born.......Bhagwaaan ne unki sun lee...(sun lee for the unkown souls is not Bruce lee brother...it is hindi for "heard it")...the Super Hero had an R on his T shirt....and do I also have to bother tellin u who the Hero was??......yes ppl obviously it was RAMU.....the favourite name in the 70's.
NOw Ramu was sent to earth to help the pooor technologically challenged women change their ways......within 15 minutes of his entry, he is posed with 378564 problems.....NOw Ramu the super hero needs to devote enuff time to all of these problems...so in total Class2 style, he says..."Finger on ur lips, stand in line.....mantain one hand distance.......and come one by one..."
IN 3 days he spends, he is posed with all kinds of questions ranging from...."will a virus laden floppy send virus to another floppy if i keep em next to each other???'
"Where do i find a caps Unlock key?...."
"which side of CD shud face down?"
and not to mention the various dumb answers he got to queries he posted to them...
Super hero: How much RAM do u have?
Ans: 3, One in sittin room, 2 in Puja room....oh 1 Ram poster in kitchen also
Superhero:What is ur connection speed?
Ans: My connection speed is verrrrry fast......(pppl u have a number system with units to describe ur speed)
Superhero:What Bus does ur motherboard support?
Ans....errr.......aheem....I think u were gramtically wrong, but i understood ur query....I am smart.......My mother no boarding bus sirrr....she have her car.....oh but if car break down. she board 24E....

this was it.....Mr.Superhero cudnt take it any more....he goes back to the same mandir and also matha thekafys......prays brays, confesses....does everything...........and waits for miracle to happen........"Please take me back God...this is not the Job of 1 superhero.....I need back up..and if u cant take me back.....then atleast send back up.....puhleeeeeesss send backup..."
Again lightining strikes....thunder rumbles...and all the above mentioned steps take place.....and a new Superhero is born...and another one...and another.........SOoon, God created a superhero for every Female on planet earth.......One superhero to help em all...one superhero to save em.....and collectively, he called them.....MAN.
This my friends is the closesly gaurded truth about evolution...and all that evolution crap that charles darwin gave is complete bull crap.......

Oh now before any of u female fraternity burn up my blog....lemme say there are always exceptions.....ofcourse I know women who can reprogram the Ipod to play wma and attract3....I also know women who cangenerate electricity from a potato.....and above all, I know a lot of femme....who can Blog.......and nothing is more challenging thatn to blog.
These were the few exceptions.....that wud anyway exist....hehe but the rest....well.....for the rest, we have the superheros.......
* proposes toast...to all the women who read this blog.....welcome to the technically brilliant lot.......it takes skill to understand my blog anyway.....

P.s:the last comment was the "save my ass, save my blog" comment...hehehe

2005-04-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

Memo to Stephen Covey.
A win/win situation only exists in utopia and not in this purgatory. In reality, people are inherently selfish and utilitarian, user-friendly individuals who suddenly remember your name when they need something from you. On other days when they don’t need anything from you they can’t even remember your first name. That thought brings me to a syllogistic deduction: If you are needed, you exist. If you are not needed, you are left for dead. Someone please Latinize that phrase for me.

National integration......

2005-04-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

U know what i love the most about India? The very fact that 1 billion people from different religions, races and castes co exist.....and coexist in the most sweet manner. I mean, leave aside a few stray incidents like the godhra or the riots in Mumbai....these were all politicaly motivated ones....adn for a country with a population of 1 billion, 1 riot in 10 years is acceptable.comin back to the point, this integration, is visible everywhere u go, in the malls, in the apartments, in the nukkads...almost everywhere.......but today, iwanna talk abt this bonding in a diff place altogether....
How many of u have travelled by train to chennai?.....if any of u have, u will understand my point even better. the train zooms into Chennai early in the morning, around say 8:00Am, but before that, it passes through some remote areas of Tamil Nadu. The point is at 7:00 in the morning, we have people, goin at their morning activities...and in remote places like these, open fields are a replacement for the shit pots...
Hmm...what a sight it is...I must tell u. 15 people sitting in a row, with nothing more than a lotta(a small copper vessel/plastic in this case...to hold water...Phirangs, imagine liquid toilet paper please) in hand, chatting away to glory,.....ohand i forgot...also attending to the natures call(slang for shit..as if shit was not slang enuf). Robert, Hari, Illias, GuruGobind and Thomas.....all of them stitting next to each other oblivious to what the world is doin.........go ahead with their duties.
best part, they wave at you when the train passes by.....simply amazing it is.....
this is where the true spirit of national integration lies......and this is eggjactly wht i tried to capture during a painting competition at school.......but alas my principal never agreed with it....i was asked to bring my parents for drawing "obscene pictures"......Now, where is the vulgarity in national integration i ask u......simply fail to understand.....

Alien Abduction!

2005-04-05T22:55:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been abducted by an alien??.....Well, I have. Last evenming, 3 aliens walked into my house disguised a 3 friends of mine and took me along with them to their spaceship....It was this huge place, full with lights and all. they also had about 100 seats to seat all the abducted human souls.The space ship also had an entry charge of 60 bucks and this was not inclusive of a wierd food they served ....something called popkorn......
The spaceship was huge...really huge...at first i was reallly excited but then the nightmare began.the lights dimmed slowly and the spaceship became dark, and suddenly this huge screen in front of the chairs lit up....it lit up to two words....
"TANGO CHARLIE"
and voila, I knew this wud be the most ominous torture i wud ever have to go thru. Two people who cannot act, a gurl who cus well serve as a cl;own in the Russian circus, a story that a two year old cud have written better and lot of shouting and blood shedding later, the torture came to an end.....The lights came on..and i thot it was all over.....but heck no...These aliens were the sympathetic lot.....they give u a break btwn their tortures..and in this break they feed you with more crappy substances that make u lose control over ur self will....and then, they begin the procedure all over again....
More bad actors, more crappy stories, more unbeautiful women......I cud not hndle it anymore..my head was spining, my throat was goin dry, two more minutes and I wud become one of them........so i decided to take a chance and run, escape call it whatever u want to.........I carpe diem(sieze the oppurtnity), and ran for my lfe....I have never driven so fast to get home...like i did yest.......
I survived an alien abduction.....I doubt if the others in the sapceship did.....really do doubt it!

Make love.......

2005-04-02T11:22:00.000-08:00

I have carried a post before on how we Indians mess up the queens language....and i thot v were the best at it when we used sentences like, "Am i a father or a mother" to find out if I have a son or a daughter..............I thot so until i came accross this guy from Iran.
What u r about to witness is a tale of Love, a tale of rejection, a tale of suppression and a tale of Lust rolled into one......basically a hatke story.
Once upon a time, in a land far far away called basheerbagh, there was this college called Nizam college, where people from diff countries happen to cnstitute a major part of the population. admist this whole set of foriegn students ws this dude from iran, lets call him Kyupid...and at the end we can also call him styupid......but nywasy comin to the point.......I thin this story wud better be told if i said it from Kyupids perspective....
P.s: All the typos u see now aint the resultof bad typing....its jus the way he writes....the dude writes english the way he says it...so...no offends..
One day, I cum to kolej and i c this gul walking in the tree. my hart went lost seeing the gul of my dreems....she was a butiful gul n i no that she be my gf..
so i ask her out.....
Kyupid: hey, will u go moveee?
Gurl: what moveee?
Kyupid:I want to take u for moveee...will u go movee ??
(Now the gurl likeshim as a frend...but certainly doesnt want him as Boyfrend)
Gurl:NO I have to study u c....i have exams comin up
Kyupid:...but only 1 moveee i ask...u no go 1 movee wimeee...what??
Gurl:See dude...I have to study, i cant waste time on movie....after exams i will come with u for movie
Kyupid: ok live it....
Gurl:Live it??....live what???
Kyupid:no, live it...live it
Gurl:Live what ????
Kyupid:Live the movie
Gurl:what live the movie....how can i live the movie...?
Kyupid:SO u no live the movie...u go movie with me??/
gurl:U meant leave it??.....oh my gaaawd....
Gurl:NO NO ON....I cant come for movie with u now!!!

cut to scene 2 of conversation....now guy decides to propose to the gurl

Kyupid:U know watt?
gurl:yeah, i do....did he not make the electric bulb??
Kyupid:No no...not thaat watt, i am sayin my watt
Gurl:Ur watt,what is ur watt?.....(*thinks iski watt lag gayi)
Kyupid:U know u c me as frend. i see u as frend...but inside hart of me, i make love to u
Gurl.WHAT????(* astonished at the guts that he has to reeal his fantasies)
Kyupid:yes...I laff with u ...but in hart and mind i will make love to u only..aalways
Gurl is speechless
Kyupid:I want u as my gurl frend, and i praamis to make love to u always...
Gurl.....its time to call the cops look
Kyupid:U no make love to me....atleast one u must have think abt makin loe to me ...
Gurl:NO I never ever thot of makin love to u.....
GUrl:I dont think u understand...i like u as a feend...GF is not my thingy for u...
Kyupid:okie ive it then
kyupid:I think i made love 1 time...but u fail it for me....now i no make love again......love make is only in movies...
kyupid:I am sari i thot u also make love to me...
Gurl:Gaaawd help me outta here....

Well well well....Moral of the story is....When an irani guy wants to make love to u....it means he is in love with u...do not misunderstand him...
the above storyis inspired from incidents that occured in real life...
all charecters bear resemblance to someone living or dead....and do not think it is purely coincidental........
I wish a gurl fomr iran camme and tol me..
Rohit...i want to make love ot u ....
hmmm

Tommorow is there or not.............

2005-03-31T10:40:00.000-08:00

" A bewildering plot, baroque costumes, baby-faced stars, and one memorable Burman hit (Kya huaa, tera vaada, “What happened to your promise?”) mark this as a quintessential 1970s masala potboiler. The presence of international smugglers, a cross-border abduction, helicopter chases, funny cars, frenetic camera work, and jarring visual discontinuities is all likewise standard for the genre and era."
This is Hindi cinema for u...and this is something the rest of the world has not seen....Toady, sitting at the canteen doin nothing as usual, me and a frend decided it was time to show the worrrrllllddd our great indian cinemaaa.
So if v can have a Die another day in telugu titled bhooloka veeerudu....do not ask me the actual translation...i remember the title thats it...and then we have charlies angels in Hindi as "teen devian".......why not do the same with Hindi fillums...So v have chalked out a plan, we will now dub every hit Hindi movie into english and take it to the firangs.......
in the pipeline are a few titles........
Something something happens..................Kuch Kuch Hota hai
Sometimes happy sometimes sad...............Kabhi khushi kabhi gum
People with hearts take the bride away........DDLJ
We gave away my heart dear....................Hum dil de chuke sanam
and last but not the least....
Tommorow is there or not..............kal ho na ho...

considering the response to these 5 biggies, we wil think abt releasing the lesser hits includint B-grade movies for the front benchers.....first in the pipeline wil be..
Tuesday in the forest.................jungle mein mangal
I must say....Blur..U shud do a small survey for us and find out the taste of the firangs there......I mean we want to enter enemy territory fully prepared.......
Is there any movie that also needs to be on this list?.....please enlighten me ...

jack of all trades

2005-03-29T11:46:00.000-08:00

A rolling stone gathers no moss. That's what my folks and Bob Dylan say but fuck it, I'd rather rock n' roll than gather moss.

A rolling stone is a round one. At least that's how I describe my ever evolving life for now. There are still 999 things left undone out of the infinitesimal infinity that is life. Never settle and never stop learning.

Got a lot of things to learn from people. From you. From me. From them. From heroes and anti-heroes. Got to learn how to cook the perfect lasagna or play an acoustic guitar. Play with the reasons of light or read Neruda by the seashore. There is no such thing as a romantic life, only a romanticized life.

So I'll keep the stone rolling by getting a cookery class certificate and 6 months acoustic guitar lessons. Just for the pure fun of it.

Do me a favour lets play Holi!

2005-03-25T11:59:00.000-08:00

"Do me favour lets play holllliiiiiii
Rango mein hai pyaaar ki bolllliiiiiiii
...................
..............................
....................................
Ja re ja u dont touch my choli.."
If u havent guessed it yet, theese are th lyrics to the latest Anumalik song from Waqt....Akshay kumar n priyanka chopra.....
It currently tops my list of cheesy songs...whcih also include
Kua mein doob jaaongi - Page 3
Dont touch Dont touch - Raja Bhaiya
Teri Kurti Suxy lagdi hai - Vaada
I love u like crajeee - Fida

Enurf.....boy what do ppl think of when they actually write such cheesy stuff.....I mean..gimme a break!
oh btw, before i forgt, here is a happy holi to all of u...the main reason for this post....
Jus came back after watching ppl lght up this chick called Holika...hmm another gurl off the list....People do u realise that we have a dearth of women already.....and killin more of them will only cause a bigger problem!!.....remeber club 67...(for every 1000 males there are 933 females....for the remaining 67 males, v have club 67)

Record Tod!

2005-03-24T06:16:00.000-08:00

Went on a nostalgia drive the other day during a chat session with Blur. Apparently the two of us went to the same college(yes i am educated and i did go to college...its another story that i never attended classes), we also went to the same coaching classes, and coincidentally, we were both at the same place at the same time....a lot of times....when she went for morning walks and i went to gaze at gurls out there for morning walks.....but this post is not abt where both of us went, and y both dint meet till date. This post i about a few achievments of mine at the dreaded hell called Little flower Junior college(LFJC for short), which till date hold as a record of sorts.

I am still the official holder of the record for being the only person in the history of LFJC to be thrown out of class on the verrry first day.
I mean cmon ppl, what do u do when u go to this new place for the first time and u encounter a totla besuraaah voice shouting at the top of his lungs..."Hey Prabhu darshan do...." whcih apparently was the prayer....i just burst out laffing and was thrown out of class.

I also hold the record in LFJC for being the only person to be given a "strict warning" by every lecturer in LFJC, inluding the librarian......the librarian cos i changed the wallpaper on the computers from the LFJC logo to Riya sen in a bikini!!!

I am probably among the verrry few ppl who managed to mantain 4 diaries, and 7 identity cards throughout their tenure of 2 years. 4 diaries meant no diary had more than 5 leave records marked on them....and the 7 identity cards helped me bunk classes everytime, a class whose ID card i possesed had a free time...heheh smart or what!!

Bahadur the watchman earned more than the principal did only becos of people like us who wanted to leave college even before it actually started....5 bucks to leave on foot, 10 to leave with a bike and 25 to leave with a car.....and with aatleast 50 ppl doig this eeryday on an average and the number hitting as high as 100 on a friday, U cud well imagine the moolah he made...

And last but not the least, till the last day of college, I had broken 27 testubes, 11 burretes n pippetes, stolen 4 mouse balls, and mixed all the conc acids with a chemical called H20 whihc makes em the diluted acid.......so much as a revenge to what that hell offered me...

I still think all these records Hold. and if bro James ever read this blog, I am sure no amt of armour wud protect me....he wud actualy nuke me......cos I always used full faida of being a mallu n he being a mallu too...so everytime i awanted leave, it was always.."I aqm off to kerala for a vacation sir"....or ..."Sir, I have IIT coaching all day today sir"....and he always believed me...
hehehe

To the highest bidder

2005-03-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

I am gathering these bits and pieces of my life. Things. Stuff. Possessions. All the items that surround me, that keep me comfortable, that hold memories. And I am photographing them, tagging them, writing descriptions. All to let them go. All to the highest bidder. Parts of my life. Old and new. Substantial and small. Sold and bought, all to be sold again. It's breaking my heart. This letting go. The thought of it, the process, it paralyzes me. Why is it we fight to hang on? Why is it so hard to let go of one's self? It's a jigsaw puzzle, life is. And now I am removing those pieces, one at a time. I'm starting to lose the picture. All I see are holes.

When all is said and done, what will be left? Just me, and these nearly empty rooms. Is that enlightenment? Will that be my salvation? I know, I know.....they are JUST THINGS. They are not the cause of true happiness. Then why am I saddened? Why do I fight to sit down and force myself to go through this process? Perhaps because it's making me realize how desperate I've become. It's making me face what my life is right now. No job. No money. No faith. No hope. and friends...friends in plenty, but the very thot of leaving them all when i leave for Pune....paranoid....

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I feel overwhelmed. I want to run and hide. I want to sleep for a thousand years. And yet I HAVE to do this. I have no choice.

One day soon I'll make a list. A list of the pieces of my life. And you'll see it. Shirt and lamp and cup and frame and clock and book and CDs. Etc. All for sale. Just a few Rupees....a few freaking rupees

Then you'll all own a part of me.

Pieces.

To the highest bidder.

One Tight Slap!

2005-03-18T03:29:00.000-08:00

HOw many times have to looked at the happening wannabe's around u and felt sorry for them from the depths of ur heart?
Every place has it, there is always the Raack is what i listen to types, there is the in yamerica, ppl do lke this wonly types and there is always the Ms Oh Hindi movies so Suck maan types.
Admit it people, No matter what u think this aint cool....if u havent heard Metal myujic then admit it, but please dont call Christina Augelera and britney spears as amazing Rock stars...jus cos they sang.."I luvv rock n roll"....adn if u think that watching 1 episode of friends makes u the koolest dude, and every 24 year old in America is as cool as them, then u r wrong.
The other day i see this dude walkin around with a Tshirt that has Limp Bizkit on it...and When v were talkin abt music, i aked him if he listened to Limp bizkit....his answer..."Kyahaike,, main woh biscuit aaaj thak nahin khaya"....Jesus Christ.
and then u have the whole lot of ppl who think Linkin park is the next huda project after Lumbini park........whoooosh
One tight Slap
I remember talkin to ths chick, and she was like so pro american and full american accent and all....that i thot she was born n brot up there....so when i asked abt where she came from...she was like...i was brn and brot up in india only.....and when u question the accent, she is like..I have many cuzins there.......Ooooh please, u having cousins in us doesnt mean, u get an accent.....
And ofcourse, what is wrong with Hindi movies?...Everybody likes them, but no, I cant admit I like Hindi movies cos I will then become a ghati...so Uncool naa.......Shut the F%$% up.......there is nothing uncool abt watching hindi movies. U will laff, cry and do everything when u watch this movies in hindi...but end of the day, u will be like...Yuck...I saw a hindi fillum!....
God If u really wanted to kill somebody, make sure ppl like these get their chance first....
I propose a toast, to Kunal Ganjawalla, Jassi jaisi koi nahin and to Hindi Movies.....U guys do Rock....nothing wrong in admitting that!!!.

Personalized ringtones...ooops villaintones

2005-03-15T08:44:00.000-08:00

How many people have seen the “k” serials on Star plus on the trot for 2 hours?...Well, I have. Today, my Dad decided to take over my computer cos he forgot his at office, and mommy dearest refused to part with the remote till 11:00PM. So what does Rohit do from 9:00 to 11:00???, he sits with Mom and watches everything on TV from Kkavvyanjali to Kyunki Sauce bhi kabhi tamatar thi….
It takes guts to make such soaps, and it takes much more than guts to watch them. I hereby stand up and applaud all the Women who have turned Ekta kapoor and her Balaji Telefilms into a profit making organization….Bravo! U really deserve to win the Red and White Bravery award for sitting thru such torture everyday.
There is crying, bad acting, stupid plots, unrealistic sense of dressing(Believe me, the women in her soaps, wear Saris woth 10 grand and make up weighing 1 kg even when they go to sleep), and more bad acting and a lot more crying…I mean if they collected all the water that flows out of every actor in her soap operas for a month, Rajasthan might just become another Amazon forest.
But the topic here is not all that. The point here is the background score. I know I have talked a little too much about a little too many things, except what I thot of saying but believe me, the situation demanded it. Okie coming back to the point, the msic in her seriasl simply rock and u got to hand it over to the directors for that. I mean they have a kinda personalized ringtone for evry villainous character in the serial. So while the entry of a character is with a “Athaaaaaa” there I another which goes”Mooooohini….moooohini…” I mean all this takes some verry intense creative juice. If these guys ever went on to join Nokia, we mite have a better sounding ringtones column with us…and there is the situations where we have ramayan slokas being rapped out which cud put Eminem or D12 to shame…Absolutely Wonderful….
This is the kinda talent that gets wasted in our country….these poor ppl don’t even get a mention in the credits.
If I ever make a movie, I am sure I will use this thingy from ekta kapoor in them…if the eighties had villains being recognized by the ultra cool punch lines like, “Mogambo Khush Hua”, the 21st century has something called the personalized ringtones for every villain….
I wonder what I wud be given had I been part of the soap brigade….hmmmmm

The man who put a smile on the face of all he met

2005-03-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

"“A philosopher once wrote you need three things to have a good life. One, a meaningful relationship, two, a decent job of work, and three, to make a difference. And it was always that first one that stressed me, to have a meaningful relationship. And I realise that now I do. Sometimes it is important to take a look around us.....waiting with my fingers crossed"
Simply put, tommorow, if somebody asked me
“How would you like to be remembered?”
I would say
“Simply, as, the man who put a smile on the face of all who he met.”

An idiots guide to Eunuchs

2005-03-11T07:15:00.000-08:00

Scene1 take 1:: Outide the Library at Nizam College.
Rohit is sitting with his usual group of phalthus like im and talkin abt serious issues like women, movies and Rock concerts.
Walk in Mrs. Vijaylaxmi(name not changed to mantain embarresment protocol)...She was at one point of time our Head of the Dept. And she still cannot differentiate between a CD and a Floppy...but cut the crap...comin to the point.
She comes with a stagger in her walk that cud rival Will smith any give point of time. Now this lady cannot go past a group of students without interacting with them and giving them a point ot laff about for a week. and today, it happened to be Rohit, she chose.
So here v go
Mrs V: aaan U, yes u only maan ...Rohit Raaz(it is Raj whihc she convieniently convtd to raaz like she does to the jebras ion the joo from jimbabwe)...Please come here
Me: Yes maam, how can i help u?(courteous me)
Mrs V: I beleive u have studied Eunuchs before?
me:*wide eyed, Dumbstuck, bewildered .....and what not!!!#@@!#
Mrs V: Can I borrow some books of eunuchs from u, I think I am slowly begining to like it.
First i thot it was verry verry complex, but now u c as i learn them slowly, i think it is verrry nice.
Me:Still in a stoned state....dumbstruck and bewildered
Mrs v:: Kindly, if u dont mind, please get me book on Eunuchs...see the Library has very few books on it...
Me:: Maam, Eunuchs ...what makes u think i have books on Eunuchs???
Mrs V:: U will have no, last month u gave me Linux books so u shud have unuchs books also, cos from Eunuchs only,Linux came...

Bolt of lightning strikes, cloud forms over rohits head and finally Rohit attains Nirvana.

Mrs V was talking abt UNIX and she kept saying UNUX for UNIX and me pereverted me, kept thinning Eunuchs.....hehehehe
But believe me, the way she said it, I was not the only one who fell prey....had Linus tovarlds herd the last line..."From Eunuchs only , Linux came'.......only god knows what he wud have done to himself..
So all u ppl learning Unux!!! all the best...
Well we have had zava, unux ...what next?
Hail Mrs Vijaylaxmi...only our tranvestite English sir can match thy!!!

Televison....huh!!!

2005-03-09T10:03:00.000-08:00

OKie, its been a lonnng time since i actually put up something enlightnening on my blog and it shows, the TRP ratings are goin down and so are the comments. But what to od...i was stuck up with all the bschool entrances all this while...pretending to be working my ass off to get in...but now all put aside, let us talk of something useful.
What is the only thing that my complete family listens to, even though it pakaaos more crap than i do?...its the Television.....and why wudnt it be....and as usual, i was watching our much lauded machine when i came accross this verry informative channel called Aastha.
Now how many of u who havent heard of this before presume Aastha to be a B-grade porn channel?(See 47 hands have gone up already). I thot so too...the only reason why i held on to it for a few minutes. Right comin to the topic, this is an amazing channel i might say. We have this 87 year old Veejay on it who can give the Punk in the Vicco Vajradanti ad a run for his money.
And boy is he popular or what. Now Mr 87 year old is also health concious buddy. and most of his programmes are workout materials.
Like this one the other day, where he was tellin ppl how to grow hair fast and get rid of dandruff.
How many of u knew that by rubbbing the fingernails of both ur hands against ach other, u will increase the growth rate of ur hair by 37%?....See isnt that information or what. Now we know how Rapunzel had so much of hair.
oh yeah and btw, according to Mr 87 year old, any food other than ayurvedic food will lead to impotency. Yeah right Laloo prasad yadav must have survived on amla, keshtail and kumkumaditailam...for him to have 13 freaking children.
The point here is, that this dude gets to say all that comes to his mind and ppl will ridiculously follow him. I hope he aint got no blog....cos it pains me to see ppl talking such crap getting more comments than i ever do.
To all u ppl readin my blog, i request to kindly adjust ur TV sets and tune in to Aastha everyday religiously. U will soon discover secrets to get rid of body odour by scratching ur armpits with ur left hand, or realise that by drinking coffee, u are leading mother earth to destruction.
Me of to watch Asstha now, ...one day, I will also have a TV channel dedicated to me and my crap ramblings, one day I will also have a fan following of 20,000+ supportes, one day, I will also be an eighty seven year old with more armpit hair than on my forehead.....I wait eagerly for that day.

Ahoy Pune !!! Here I come

2005-03-05T11:25:00.000-08:00

okie...I know that most people in this part of the world are packing to leave for Bangalore...to watch Mark Knoppfler Live at palace grounds.....but me...me is packin to go to Pune again...
Yes ppl, I have been selected for Symbi, Pune...So that means i gt to see all that i got a glimpse of during my 3 day trip last week....
Yeeeehaaaaww....Pune City here I come....I get to see hot chicks, i get to attend Rock concerts, I get to watch english movies well in advance and again, i get to see hot chicks.....something i missed the most in hyderabad....
Yeeeeeehaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

All the kings horses and all the kings men!

2005-02-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

This is the story of two brothers, Hing and Ming. Each was devoted to the search for the cure. They differed greatly on how it was to be found.

One day their pet chicken fell ill, began to molt, and soon lost all of its feathers [exclamation point removed]. The brothers decided that this would be an ideal test case and agreed to each spend two months trying to cure the chicken.

Hing immediately went back to the university. Having boned up on ornithology and traditional Chinese medicine, he decided that the answer was a prescription of gum-tree leaf tea. He gathered bushels of the tea leaves, brewed gallons of the tea, and poured it into the chicken for the two months.

Meanwhile, Ming traveled all around China, praying at the shrines of his ancestors. One night he had a dream. His ancestors appeared and told him to feed the chicken tea made from gum-tree leaves [triple exclamation points removed]. Ming, aware of his brother's lack of success, decided that the problem was quantity. He gathered whole CARTLOADS of leaves, and brewed BARRELS of the tea, and poured them into the chicken for the two months. At the end of the time, the poor chicken was still as naked as a bowling ball.

Moral: All of Hing's courses, and all of Ming's kin; couldn't make gum tea refeather a hen [exclamation point removed]

Alpha Charlie...reporting in from Pune ...awyaye sir!!

2005-02-23T05:06:00.000-08:00

Hello Junta,
this is Rohit reporting in from Pune..the young city....I kept wondring why people said that...but now I know. This certainly is a young city....i havent met a chick here so far who is uncapable of not being my girl friend. They are all young, they are all hot and more than anything, they are friendly.
God I wanna go to SIMC.......the crowd simply rocks....I mean they say u shudnt judge a book by its cover, but here, I acn make an exception....*turns around to spot another hottie at 3'0 clock.
My neck has had some work today as have my eyes...doin all the drooling here...Buy do I love this place or what!....Alpha charlie requesting leave now....gotta rendezvous baack at hotel...
Over n Out..
oops another hot chick...
ooops her Sis is with her too.....
this is Rohit signing off...
Burp...............................Kashish

Wish Me Luck

2005-02-21T12:15:00.000-08:00

I am off to Pune for a week. Now before all U people begin to envy me thinking im off to party there, let me put this straight. I am off to pune to attend the GD and Pi for SIMC(Symbiosis insti for MAss Comm). So No dirty thots.....Will resume blogging when i come back.
On a lighter note...Does anybody here havbe the complete video of the Rock show at Nizam college. If so, please leave me ur contact number...I am so desperately in need of it...
Signing off for the weel.....Over n out...Burp!

Thank you all!!!

2005-02-18T20:32:00.000-08:00

Thank you Microtone for Rocking the evening. Thank you Ajay for being there. Thank you Sita for gettin me in touch with some of the best rockers in town. Thank you thamma for ur support.....I hope you can play next time around. .Thank you Tamzeed, Tashi, Fayaz and Naved...without whom yesterday wud not have been possible.thy stage work was Brrrrilllliant...Thank you Abhijeet for doing th run around wimme and also for getting me into St Francis ka gully....(They still refuse to give me an admission tho)....Thank you Navika, Joel, Sana for believeing that a rock show in Nizam college is possible.....Thank you all u Rock Fans in Nizam college for Contributing Handsomely to stretch our Budget to 13 grand....And finally Thank you peple for forming the numbers and making up a crowd Nizam college has never seen before for a rock show.
A big cheer for Naved, Tamzeed, Tashi and fayaz....without whom, I wud have been drenched ....as they say, a friend in need is a friend indeed.........
And thisnis quite a few friends I have....
Thank you all
Thanks a Ton...

P.s: And to all u AB** Bastards who said that a "rock show is a taboo and will never happen in Nizam college", I say...no qwait, We say...UP YOURS...

2005-02-16T19:11:00.000-08:00

Last Minute Advertising I might just say

True love comes quietly

2005-02-13T10:53:00.000-08:00

Feb14 is valentines day...the day for love.....and exactly 9 months later, on the 14th of november, we have childrens day.....hmmm...hows that for irony.....Its time ppl use the rubber i mite say ;).
They say, "The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet."......well it is no wonder I am still single.
Actually i have beeen smitten by the love bug quite a few times, 2487 to be precise...but the problem was that none of them reciprocated. But i am a believer."If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile." and im waiting for my time(Losing patience in the bargain).....mera time kab ayeega......???
All my life, I have fallen in love 3 times a day! Every time a hot chick passed by, my dil ki ghanti started bajaaooing...and it bajaaoed so frequently, that over the 21 years of experience that i garnered, I have begun to realise that True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
So I convieniently ignore all the sounds that ring when women pass by me...i am waiting for that moment of silence...i am waiting for true love...and true loves first kiss.....ok!! now this is how romantic i can get. All u beautiful people reading, please consider this honest appeal...try me once, if not satisfied, love back garunteee.....get me out of club67

Perception!

2005-02-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

They say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. It is how you perceive things that make something good or bad. A perfect eggjample of the whole thing happened in college a couple of months back.
Cut to scene: English Dept, Nizam College...a dumb headed junior lecturer urfff wannabe is trying his best to make his class interesting by talking of things which excites ppl the most......not sex u perverts.....but you were close.
Dressing habits of people....and in this scenario the topic of transvestite comes up. Now the dude wants to explain what a transvestite is.
Prof Wannabe: Students, transvestite, i tell u is a person of one sex wearing clothes of another sex...
Students: hooooaaaaa....dumbstruck...cos it was a bouncer for them
Prof Wannabe:..See children, one sex person is wearing clothes of another sex person....he is a transvvestite...
Students:..hooooooaa...still not understanding sir....
Prof Wannabe:..Okie I will give eggjample.....(looks around the class to spot this gurl in a pair of Jeans and a tshirt)...ma, stand up ma....now see children, this gurl is wearing clothes of guy s o...so she is a transvestite...
Students:...Arrey kya mast teacher hai...i understood sirr.....
The gurl in jeans:Wow...im a transvestite...

Last heard...the gurl was boasting abt being a transvestite in the canteen and telling her friends to become one too...cos it sounded hep...
NOw...As I was sayin....obscenity lies in the eyes of the beholder....transvestite..kathey!!!

Paradox of our time!

2005-02-08T09:34:00.000-08:00

"'The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.'"

2005-02-06T02:52:00.000-08:00

I take back every word I said against you after Devdas. Sanjay leela Bhansali, Take a bow....Black is a masterpiece.....simply Brrrrillliant

Hoodlums don't love, they desire

2005-02-04T07:26:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I have ADD but it seems that as I grow older, my attention span starts getting shorter. Right now, my attention span rivals that of a 5 year old. I can't anymore sit still through 2 hour and longer movies like I used to. If this trend continues, I'm afraid that when I reach 40, I'd be watching weird, utterly incomprehensible 15 minute short films that demand critical thinking. I'm sure I'd doze through any flick that puts my brain on auto-pilot.

A few weekends ago, I glued myself to a chair and freed up 130 minutes (2 hours and 10 minutes is eternity) of unrecoverable, unbillable time to watch Fernando Meirelles' Cidades de Deus (City of God), an epic masterpiece of crime set in Cidades de Deus, Brazil's most notorious slum. Energetic, frenetic and totally avant garde, it's a cinematic bullet train of brutally explicit violence, smut, drugs, and yes music. The kind of stuff that desensitizes you at the end like a shot of novocaine but nevertheless beautifully visceral. To make the long story short, it's a brilliant film. You won't be suing the producers of the film for taking 2.1 hours of your life which can never be returned.

I can't forget the lines that I predict will become a classic:

"Hoodlums don't love, they desire. Hoodlums don't stop, they just take a break."

2005-02-01T07:53:00.000-08:00

The poster will say it all.....so all u Kurt Kobains.....come achieve Nirvana...I hope we will see you there.....once all the bands confirm, we will put up the main poster for the rock competition.

Oh my God!!

2005-01-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

I had an argument with a friend. My last words were precise.

"I'm right!" I said. "Life's meaningless and there is no God."

To prove it, I got out the gun, put it to my head and pulled the trigger. My mind exploded.

Something still bothers me, though... Just can't help wondering about it...

If I was right, how can I be writing this?
Hmmm...

I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes

2005-01-23T06:14:00.000-08:00

"Take the blue pill, the story ends,
And you believe whatever you want to believe.
Take the red pill, and i show you how deep the rabbit hole goes...."
-Morpheus
Cut to 2005. At this newly opened eating joint where the menu is as bad as a crossword puzzle(cant make head or tail of it).
Then a Morpheus like charecter walks upto Rohit(urff Neo in this scenario) and says
"Take the chicken teriyaki(the only know thingy on the menu), the story ends, and u eat what u wud otherwise eat.
Take the Prawn whateverthatwas and i show u how deep the shit pot goes...."
and Rohit, the self Proclaimed Matrix fan knows, he is the one...and voila goes for the Prawn whateverthatwas...and ever since has been seeing how deep the freaking shit pot goes....7 times already and still counting.......yeaaaaarrrgghhhhhhhh....Damn the Matrix.
I know this is Grose but what to do...had to put it in...
Never, ever by any chance go to this restaurant and order the Prawn whatever....oh the restaurant is called.....Ooops, need to let one rip again....arrgggh...over n out...
Burp!!!

Leave the gun and take the cannoli

2005-01-19T22:10:00.000-08:00

"I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."That's almost the romantic equivalent of that classic Godfather one-liner "Leave the gun and take the cannoli."

A Little less conversation!

2005-01-18T09:56:00.000-08:00

Thank God for those deep (and dead) German philosopher dudes. They rule! They have a catchall term for every unfathomable emotion, whether it's that bottomless pit of despair or that howling wilderness of misery. It’s called angst. When I wake up on a morning with my brain still pickling from the poison of depressed Russians and can't remember my name, it's called brain damage. Total bescheuert.

Good morning. Wake up and smell the concrete

Nuclear Leak in HYD!!

2005-01-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

I remeber my physics teacher telling us abt this scientist(i fail to recollect his name) who stored a lump of Uranium inside his drawers and forgot abt tit completely. and then one day when he opened his drawer, he found strong nuclear emmissions coming from it....if u r wondering why I am talkin abt this crap, then lemme come to the point. I seem to be undergoing a similar experience currently. No i dont have no uranium in my drawer, but i can feel the radiation. After a intense study for abt a week(No wonder I dint blog all this whiile) I have exactly located the spot of emission. and it is right inside my college. This place called "the Students Toilet Block for Gents"......If george bush ever tilts those satellites over to hyd, ppl lemme warn u, they will either go to attack us for possesing WMD's or the amt of radiation will scare the shit outta em.
The last time somebody actually sent H2O inside this block was during the 1912's when Salar Jung was still alive. Believe me, that place hasnt seen water...Pure water i mean ever since.
and half of Nizamians spend their entire day sitting right next to the block in the what ppl call "Food Court".
Any side effects u will ask??? hmmm i have noticed a few ppl balding(not me...i have only had a haircut), i have noticed some amount of hysteria creeping into ppls minds and ooh i forgot, this thing called the beautiful syndrome that is largely affecting the women..urff feminine species....they r beginning to think they r beautiful..and I must say that is bad...it is like Tusshar Kapoor beginning to think he can act....
I have been spared from this nuclear Effect so far becos i ardly ever go to college and even if i ever do, i dont bother loitering around places where anything remotely education related happens.....but this thing is spreading and spreading fast..so unless i get outta there soon, u mite find me with towo big boobs or something like that......hmmm now wudnt that be interesting???
two big boobs....and then i can ask for reservation...the f%^% 33% reservation that the feminine species have jus cos their balls r higher....
this blog is getting way to perverted and chauvanistic....better sign off before it gets worse....

2005-01-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

[ R.I.P ] Rest In Peace

2005-01-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

Would you believe me if I told you that I was busy studying for an exam, and never found the time to F*&(*@# update my blog?
I knew you wudnt, exactly why I dint bother explaining. the point is that, I have finally found myself the time. The time to enlighten thee abt the intricasies of life(forgive the typos).
It has been quite a week for me. For starters, there was this literary fest called Yuv taal that was happening at HPS, and the brochures which screamed of some reallly cool events attracted me to that place. Spent 3 quality days there trying my hand at anything and everything that came my way, met people i wud never want to meet again,like this dude who had a massive crush on Uma Bharti.....Uma Bharti!!!!!...I mean, if that femme was the last female on earth, I wud mate a cockroach....and then this guy whose T-shirt read, Proud to be MCP..and in small minute letters, MCP= Microsoft Certified Professional....not that it differred greatly from the actual meaning.
The major dissappointment was the lack of chicks at the fest, especially after comin from a fest like Mood-I in Mumbai, this fest had a serious dearth of gurls. To throw more light on this, the gurls who came here from my college were among the hottest chicks around....and believe me if the gurls from Nizam had to be termed as the hottest around, we are talkin of circus ugly crowd.
moving on from the fest, i spent the rest of the week at the regular adda, the place where 65% of people between the ages of 16 & 21 go to...not college re baba, Imax. I was there practically every day of the week. Saw more than 5 movies including 3 on a single day....I am a total fillum Buff.
Watelse, nothing else....otherwise, life has been kinda boring.
Oh! now before u ppl start cribbing again bout this blog not being humorous anymore, lemme tell u, tommorow, there will be a contest on this blog for the worst PJ of the year.
I shall post 3 of the worst pjs I have heard over 2004 and viewers are asked to vote for the King of them all...
so dont forget to tune into sarkarsm, same time tommorow.....

Kahani Ladke ladke ki!

2005-01-05T19:32:00.000-08:00

The Guy's Side of the Story
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends give you.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape

Another day, another year, another post

2005-01-04T09:43:00.000-08:00

Happy Nyoo Year(...can i say "happy belated new year???")
Another day, another year, another post....gosh life is so boring. I seem to be slowly but surely losing interest in blogging these days. Blogging, something i cudnt do without a month back. I still remember, I used to wake up in the middle of the night to take a pee and open my blog just to check if i have had any more hits since i went to sleep.....but alas, all that enthu has gone for a toss. No more waking up in the night, no more regular posting on the blog, no more can brush later, must blog first attitude.....zilch!
I must thank all my loyal comment posters (read Succubus and Sita) for providing me with a reason to blog atleast 2 times a week. As for the others who come read and go, thanq for increasing my Hit -o-meter(if u haven't noticed, i have crossed 1000 hits finally)....
and finally a final word. For all those people rejoicing that this blog is soon going to come to an end, let me take the sadistic pleasure in announcing, I'll be back. same blog, same time tommorow. NO, THIS BloG AINT NO SHUTTING DOWN.....hehehe..party no more, cos I shall be a regular from tommorow, Promish!....
but now, me need some sleep, but tommorow on, full fledged baarish of pjs, bad jokes, feminine admiration and choclate drooling shall barasafy!....till then take care, and above all, Best of Luck!

We can Taalk english, waalk English, Loff Englsh....bherry phunny it is!!!

2004-12-30T09:27:00.000-08:00

When Indians speak the Queen's language, it isn't usually the way
the British
understand it! So we all know about the Malayali who `zimbly' crossed the
road
and went to `koledj.' And the Gujarati who asked for `snakes' at a Udipi
joint.
And the Punjabi who bought a new `Mrruti 800'. And the Bengali who lost
all data on his computer because he didn't `shave' them...

English, like Amitabh Bachchan observed in Namak Halal, is a funny
language. "I can talk English, I can walk English, I can laugh English,"
said the Big B. How true! The Queen's language, along with Hindi,
is probably what bridges several diverse Indian communities as the most
convenient means of communication. But on its own, English attains a
comical effect when used by most of us, who belong to different communities.
Hampered by strong mother-tongue interference, we struggle with alphabets
that either
twist our tongue or slip across it.

"Do you know that certain communities are not comfortable with
certain alphabets?" asks Jyoti Parikh, teacher and avid people-watcher.
"Like Maharashtrians have a problem with the alphabet F, while they also
share an almost equal aversion to anything sounding `sh' with the
Gujaratis."
So there's Mr Patkar having major `confujan' while filling up his
club membership
`pharm,' while Mr Patel is troubled by what his wife has served him for
dinner - `begdis.'

"But some have a fixation with a particular alphabet," says Parikh. Like
the Malayali from Malad who likes to emphasise the `r' and complains
about the poor `waterr' supply in his building. Poor guy, he doesn't get
enough to bathe with his favourite `Lex' soap. And, mind you, he is highly
qualified - `Yum A' in literature! By the way, Y is a favourite alphabet,
whose popularity cuts across all South Indian communities, especially
since they aren't very fond of alphabets M and E. So don't be surprised if
you
encountered anybody from the South who's seen a strange movie called
"Yenter The Dragon"

But when it comes to who's the boss, the Tamilian swears by his
`bass,' while the Malayali sticks to his `bose.' The Tamilian, you see,
loves the sound of a `ya' or `aa' at the end of a sentence. "Ready-aa?" he
may
ask. On the other hand, the Malayali may prefer to ask things in a
negative tone - "It's very hot, no?"

But the Gujarati from Ghatkopar doesn't particularly like the sound
of the alphabet `A.' So he may shock a shopkeeper by asking
him to `rape' (wrap) a few samosas for him. And then at home, he hears
his wife telling the neighbour, "Maro dikro states ma udi gayo." It takes
him a while to realise that his son has not flown to the US, but has
simply failed his stats (or statistics) test at school...

Okay, so the objective of littering around so many examples about
the usage of English by different communities is not to make fun of
them. It is just to show how English, while an integral part of our daily
life in a
cosmopolitan city like Hyderabad, has been moulded to suit cultural
convenience and basic communication requirements of a diverse
population. Of course, it's also a fact that how our Sindhi neighbour
or Bihari boss or Goan friend talk in the Queen's language is often a source
of
entertainment.

Indian English is here to stay. But for those who pride on their
convent education, think again. Why do we say that our parents are "pulling
on well" when asked about them? Surely, our parents are not a pair of
bullocks, right? And what do we say when somebody asks whether we are
keeping
good health? After all, you don't keep good health, you enjoy it.

Now, go on, listen to `pope' music, bite into a `pijja' and chumma enjoy
life.
`Wokay?'

Tsunami, Tsunami, Tsunami

2004-12-28T19:57:00.000-08:00

Life in this mortal coil. If terrorist don't get you, tsunamis will.

I wake up to more harrowing news that my Southeast Asian neighbors have been hit by killer tsunami waves (30 foot waves at 400 kph) ripping up people, beaches and towns in Thailand,Indonesia, Sri Lanka, and India. The 8.9 earthquake has been upgraded to 9.0 making it the most powerful earthquake to rock this planet since the 1900s.There's more death and destruction than previously imagined. Even the island of my dreams, the Maldives is reportedly under water. I can't think of a worst way to die than be swallowed by the Tyronasaurus Rex of the Ocean. With waves like that, sunbathers will be swept away and slammed into the infernal ocean while snorkellers/divers/fishing vessels will be pummeled onto the shore. Either which way, there's no escape from these fuckers.

I'm still trying to contact friends who went to Maldives for a holiday. Hope they didn't make any excursions to this beach. I hope they are ok.

Tragic kingdom. With the new year just around the corner, it feels like the end of days.

Guess who's back

2004-12-27T06:34:00.000-08:00

Guess Who's Back,
Back Again!
Guess Who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back......

yes, Im Back.
7days, 300 bootiful women, 6 sleepless nights and Mumbai.....for once, IIT rocked. If u thot the nerds at IIt dint know how to party, U were right. Cos all that they did was, arrange the place to party. the rest was taken care of by us, the noon IITians....Boy did that place rock or what.
Nowhere else in this country wud u find people(read boys n gurls n more gurls) playing a game of football together at 2:45 in the night..
Nowhere else wud u find people thronging a college cnteen for a chinese chejuwan(eggjactly how they spelt it) nudles, at 4:15 in the morning...
no where else in this world wud u find totla strangers spending the night with u(no bed thots)..in a camp fire with the only common factor binding the two of u being that both of u were feeling cold.....
The place was decked up its best with lights, decorations, colors and not to mention the gurls...
the shows kicked butt, for once Remo Fernandes was fun to listen to, Colonial cousins had the crowd go ga ga ga....
the only bad part....or do i say, the Worst part, the Rock show got cancelled...thanx to the Untimely demise of PV Narasimha Rao.....man the dude died with ppl cursing him...believe me...they did, atleast i did...
I took solace in the fact that I came down early to watch Parikrama, Slave, Zero and Prestorica practise backstage, thanx to IIT friends.
I take my word back, the IITians are not that bad after all.....infact they are the best when it come to arranging a party....Allright IITians, take a bow, U Rock!!!......
......if only for that Rock Show, U wud have Rocked even More

No Idea!

2004-12-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

OK!..people are beginning to complain that my blog is not getting funnier by the day, how can it? I am slowly growin out of the humor phase and entering the more thot provoking and philosophical stage of life...a nice way to say that i am running out of humor...hmm but to keep thy loyal souls satisfied, me have come upp with a list of quotations and gaalis that u cud shower upon thy friend aand enemies alike.....Mind U use them at ur own risk. I will not be held responsible for the damage it causes to u.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
condom factory.

My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she
objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are
used together.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best
thing on earth.

There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri
Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a
good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer
were too small.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery? .

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with
the enemy.

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the
Thing......

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans
life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a
bitch sleeps with everyone except you.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer
virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard
disk.

Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to
bed", many men still sleep with their wives !!!

Till I regain my bad joke syndromes, keep urself satisfied with this kinda stuff....where has my bad sense of humor gone to?...I have no freaking IDEA...actually, I use Hutch, so obviously there aint no freaking IDEA......aaaahhh, I can see signs of the Bad Joke sydrome comin back....Beware blogging community.....beware!!

Observation n Inference

2004-12-15T19:26:00.000-08:00

I have some interesting Observations to blog about today! These deal with the regular daily life of people in hyderabad, their inquisitive nature, their inborn spy talents and ofcourse the Nawabi luxury of Time that they posses.
I was driving to college the other day via Tank Bund. As usual, some dude attempted his khudkhushi there. Wat was intersting is, even before the dude's body hit the water, a crowd had begun to jamafy out there. This UNcleji with a friend of his was right ahead of me. Guess what he does??? Stops his gaddi in the middle of the rroad(manages to put it on middle stand) and rushes to the other side to catch a glimpse of the Khudkhushi achieved soul!....If these people were out there to help him, I cud understand, but the sole reason for these people to be there is to satisfy their sadistic pleasures.....the crowd there manages to block the rescue team from entering in time too!
Observation 2 involves the biker dudes in town and the mahila urfff bahenjis in Autos. We hyderabadi's have this ever scratching itch to get a glimpse of the person sitting in an Auto. People on bikes will strain thy necks, people in cars will roll down the windows, and people in the bus will bend their backs to see who is inside an Auto. And god forbid, there happens to be a hot chick inside, then she is done for, they will stare at her and drool shamelessly till she gives em a piece of her mind! but Hot chick or no Hot chick, every Hyderabadi will make it a point ot seee who is inside an Auto. Gangstres and Wanted Criminals, be warned. Whatever u do, do not travel by Auto, cos this is the place where u r most likely to get noticed, what with people staring at you from every signal.
Observation3:: This happened today morning. I was asked to wash my Moms car cos it resembled an antique in more ways than one. So I leave my house with a hose in hand and a bucke full of soap n water. As I started washing the car, my Watchmans son came over n stood there lookin at me wash. This attracted his friend too, and slowly the crowd began growin. 10 minutes and the Bonnet and 2 windows later, I turn arnd to see that I had managed to pull a crowd of 7 people including the Waatchman himself, the Paperwallah, and the watchman from the neighbouring flat. I began getting concious here, and kept wondering why they were staring at me. Checked to see if my fly was open, but thank heavens that was secure too, i wasnt Naked(maybe that wud havbe scared them away)...What in the world was their problem????
They were there till I finished washing the car(the paper walla left early, reluctantly) nd when I went up, the crowd dispersed. It made me feel like I was doin an entertainment jig for them or was pole dancing or something....some people have all the time in the world. Mind You, None of the Assholes standing there offered to help me...me the poor sleepy soul!...in washing the car. All that they did was stand and stare....hmmm
I cud jus go on and on abt more observations but me also need to get to college. So I shall save the rest for another bloggin entry!
Have fun
Hang on who is in that Auto now....*Straining neck like it were a chewing gum*

[Burp] [yawn] [burp] [Yaaaaawn]

2004-12-14T19:27:00.000-08:00

Another day in my life, quite an eventful one too. For starters, Succubus decided to treat me to a movvie at the IMAX....Young Black Cliched Stallion....the movie sucked!...so completely cliched with no twist whatsoever!...hmmm but i am not complaining, cos me saw it for free. Succubus has this soft spot for students, cos when she was one, she also craved for ppl to treat her...and I took full advanage of that!..
..adn then as the sun set in, a friend of mine suggested we spend some time at coffee day, and voila in five minutes time, me was munching on the choclate fantasy......ummm, and just as we left, I met this other friend of mine, Saurab who thot we cud do some talkin over a cup of coffee. So there I was again, this time with a cafe latte and a choclate fantasy!...I get home and realise that my parent are feeling guilty about they not spending enuf quality time with their children, and have decided for an evening dinner....Mainland China, here I come....
I ate so much food yesterday, My stomach almost achieved Orgasm...Burp!
and in the night, I meet Sita on Msn, and she like all the women who enter my life found my looks repulsive!....Plastic surgery Ahoy!....3 hours of chatting later, I amnaged to squeezze out 1 praise out of her, "U have a nice Blog"...mind u, this was said in a sentence where the other blogs she talked about were rated AWESOME....but this is the max I cud get out of her....hmmm...watever. NOw I need to get back and catch some sleep, was awake all night thanx to a multiplayer LAN Party that my insomniac friends who need no sleep proposed......yawn.......my stomach is rumbling again.....burp, Yawn....tooo many emotions, at a time!.....
P.S: Than q Succubus for the gr8 time(SOunds like another Cliched part...just like the Movie)...an for the others who are working, kindly take a hint and start treating us students regularly...after all we are also part of the fraternity....hmmm Yaaaaaaaaawn!!

Mess n Moms....do not mess with em!

2004-12-13T18:17:00.000-08:00

My usually zen-like desk is not a pretty sight right now. I have 10 days worth of paperwork backlogs staring back at me. If only I know where to start demolishing these piles of paper that are getting as high as the Dark Tower of Mordor. People say I have excellent mental processes but when in comes to organizing paper, I say I am a complete dimwit. I am just another walking contradiction. Time Study materials, Practice Exercises, Brochures for i-pod, just plain litter, they all find a place in here. The other day when my Mom walked into my room, she threatened to disown me if I didnt clear the mess within an hour.
Destroying a ton of Useful Garbage in an Hour....sounds difficult....but then, I am used to the Impossible, difficult, is a walk in the park field....and that is exactly what I did, take a walk in the park, and wait for the Mom's Gussa to thandafy.
But Moms will be moms, and the gussa just revived when she came into my room for the second time(Gosh! there is no privacy in this house). and this time, she meant business.
As a temporary measure, I have managed to stuff the crap under my bed, where the visibility of garbage is low....but even this wont last for long, cos the maid is gonna complain when she comes sweeping.......I need help.
Any Kind hearted souls here who wud like to help me clear this mess?(Help me= U clear the mess, while me kick some ass on counter strike)
Anyone out there who is a whiz at unstuffing paper jams? Call me. I need your help.
This is not a Dame but a Dude in Distress........HELP HELP!!

MS doesnt neccesarily mean microsoft

2004-12-12T06:15:00.000-08:00

Gave another B-school entrance exam today! SNAP, for the symbiosis Insti for Mass Communication....Hmm....the paper was quite an easy one...anything in comparison to the CAT is easy. The Verbal was a breeze as was the Logical ability, the General Awareness had me stumped, thanx to questions on the planning commission!phew....anyways, lets not talk abt it, am sure u ppl dont want to hear abt it too!
Wat else, M.S.Subbalakshmi is dead, not that I care, but my Grand Mom ws in total Sad face Mourning getup!...U wont believe this but I will say it anyway, When I first saw this CD of MS Subalakshmi on the rack, I thot this was an indian version of some software from microsoft...ala MS Word, MS Office, MS Subbalakshmi...hehehe
Bad Joke, I know....
I got my dose of Wired Magazine today from Abids, Picked them up from the Sunday Market at Abids...50 bucks each. I bot 3 of them...wud have bot more had i some moolah on me...;(
The coolest thing I read so far,
"Microsoft is copying us again, It feels great"
-Steve Jobs
Wat else, nothing else...I am running out of words......
I am running out of time......
I need some Music, i need some Metallica...Some Kind Of Monster!!
I need some Peace!

Who is Hot?

2004-12-10T19:51:00.000-08:00

Finally, the now infamous dude, Ashray decided to treat us today. His plan, We go watch Musafir in the morning, have Lunch and spend the rest of the evening fragging each other at Reliance Web World.... the plan sounded interesting, like the promos of Musafir....so we all rogered that!
Stage#1: Prasads Multiplex Time:1:00PM
Waiting eagerly for the doors to open, never seen so many ppl at prasads multiplex. I mean of the entire population who goes to Prasads, only 1% end up watching movies, the others are there to stare at he chicks!..Finally the doors open n off v go, Musafir...promos reminded me of a holywood filck.
Well the Movie is a galaxy away from even a b-grade Hollywood fillm. The story is pathetic, the movie is cliched, Koena cant act,the director ran out of money to buy the femme clothes(who is complaining) Anil cant do a goon role and the director loses grip of the watever little story he had in the 2nd half.
Now for some Plus Points: Sameera reddy is hot
The editing is Slick, reminded me of Quentin Tarantino and Guy ritchie films.
The women are under dressed,
Sameera Reddy is Hot
Koena isnt given a long role...she is jus there to strip and sing..
Sameera reddy is Hot
Sanjay Dutt gets the Coll dialogues and trust him to deliver
Sameera reddy is Hot

Movie Finished, sar is pakaofyd, eyes are strainfied(all the staring I did at Sam), and the mouth is dryfied(with the drooling i did over Sam)....Im Hungry...Where do we go?
Cafe Oddesey is the place we chose(as usual)
had a good meal, lunch whatever...Pasta, Lasagna, Steak...and the food was attacked at like bhooka Bhediyas.
Moments of the Day:
#1: We made Mayank wait for over 15 minutes...Mayank wait!..I mean this guy has never ever been on time, even on the day of his marriage, I am sure his Dads gonna have to inform him that the mahurat is at 10:30 to have him seated by 12:30...But today, he was there on time...(Andy tol him to report at 11:00 n he came by 12:00, when we were supposed to meet at 12:30) thanq Andy
#2: We realised Mayank has a waist of 40 thanx to the sticker that he forgot to peel off his brand new Levis!...lol
#3 Ashray had 500 bucks in the morning and now he has none
cant think of anything else......ok one last time
Sameera Reddy is Hot.
over n out

Viva (whywah..not veevaa)

2004-12-09T09:28:00.000-08:00

Finished my practicals to day...phew what a relief. The programming on the comp was a breeze, thanx to the geeks saving all the possible programs that cud appear in the eggjam on the server. All I had to do was ctrl+c and Ctrl+v...for the lesser known mortals(read my classmates), this is the shortcut key for copy and paste.
What bogged me down was the Viva part. Viva(pronounced whywah and not veevaa, veevaa was the first Channel V pornstar...oops popstar)..Viva are the most decisive part of the practical exam, this is where the examiner segregates the haves from the have nots.....and this is where meri chori pakdi jaati....
But me being the immortal god of blabber, tried to talk my way through the Viva..wwhether it worked or not, only the results will say.
q1: What is a garbage collector?
my ans: Someone who is out to do social service or someone who performed badly at coll and ended up workin with the MCH
Examiner= bewildered

q2: What is a dirty call in java?
my ans: system.out.println("Fuck off bitch");
examiner=Fuming

and finally out of desperation
q3: Ok baba!...atleast ell me who wrote C?
my ans: lemme think, if I am not wrong, it was spectrum publications...no I think I saw Rahul Publications too....oh what an ass I am, they only published C,...the Author was Yashwant Kanetkar....bingo
Yashwant Kanetkar wrote C

Examiner= missing
Last seen, my H.O.D was lookin for her all over the city...well i think i fared fairly well, I mean I did answer all the questions dint I...whether I pass or not, only time wil tell...oh no!...Even the examiner can tell...probably U can too...hehehe

P.S: that ad on TV about minto fresh..."mahila ko karna ho impress to khaoo minto fresh" doesnt work...Impress to door ki baat, she got supressed, oppressed and depressed! ...these Ads I tell u!

Its Time

2004-12-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

"I recommend biting off more than you can chew I certainly do."
-Alanis Morissette

I wish I never listened to that advice because right now I'm having mental indigestion. So much for my inability to say NO and I mean, a resounding, echoing NO to more commitments, promises, goals, extra work and other things that I believe I can deliver. Now that I've refocused my life's lenses, a lot of the things that I used to think were important suddenly end up looking so insignificant and not really worth doing at all. Time to get rid of the superman complex, time to stop Studying, time to stop staring at girls and actually go and ask them out....its Time to be Rohit

I really can't be everything to everyone, sometimes even to myself.

21 ...anyone?

2004-12-06T19:47:00.000-08:00

How does it feel to be 21? Young. Free. Invincible. My favorite seat in the mall is still the escalator. My favorite outfit in the world is still my beat up Levis and my old ratty college tee-shirt. I still rock out to that Gen-X anthem "Loser" by Beck. Some things never change.

Except my perspective. By now I can say it from my guts, older is definitely cooler, wiser, stronger, sexier. Can't wait to be 22
So much to do, so much to see.
So what's wrong with taking the backstreets?
You'll never know if you don't go.
You'll never shine if you don't glow.
Smash Mouth

Thought Provoking French quotations!

2004-12-05T19:07:00.000-08:00

What is the first thing u learn when u start learning a Language?
No not Datatypes...maan u computer geeks are total shmucks...wake up, language refers to English, Hindi French....
So whats the first thing you learn when u start learning a language?
yess u guessed it right, Gaalis....ateast I do.
2 years of frnch classes later, all i know is Foutrez vous...which i am not too sure is right as well.
But today I caught up with an old pal of mine and we drew up some real good french gaalis. So next time someone frags u with a pistol, some chick refuses to accept the Rose u gave her or when the Canteen Dude..asks for the money, U know what to say...
Here is the list of the real cool French gaallis....

Votre femme a sentir comme des chaussette de ma grand'mere avec fromage bleu .
Your wife smells like my grandmother's socks with blue cheese.
Ok so this is not gaalis...these are just meaningful, thought provoking sentences u make when u randomly flip thru a french dictionary...so here are more of them...

Sa montagne n'as pas un urinoir.
This moutain has no urinal.

Combien pour la couche de ton signe.
How much for your monkey's diaper

Si-vous plait, ne eterneuez pas, j'avais oublier mon parapluie chez moi.
Please, do not sneeze, i left my umbrella at home.

All u blessed souls with a french dic...(short for dictionary u perverts), please add to our collection. Post them as a comment, or simply mail em to me.
mad_toothbrush@hotmail.com
who knows we might just end up publishng them....first, lemme go meet my French maam!
This lady had this habit of saying wierd things...One day when she realisd that children in her class cudnt speak french, she decided to make the students read the book out loud.
Guess how she said it....OK children, cos u ppl suck badly, let us do it orally....
Y am I saying this? ;)
Believe me it is purely Pun INtended...ROFL!!!

HBM II...an experience

2004-12-04T10:29:00.000-08:00

Friends, country men, bloggers...I wake up on the 4th morning and find this comment on my blog , inviting me to the hyderabad bloggers meet...hmm....I thought...5PM Barista Banjara Hills it said...and at around 5 PM, Iwas supposed to be around the Banjara Hills side. So I thot why not give it a shot...So voila, at 5:45 Sharp(hyderabadi after all), I was there alng with 2 other friends of mine(Andy n Ash).
Scene #1:
Me enter Barista and find a large group of ppl assembled at one side of the coffee house and having the time of their lives.
Andy:Dude....R u sure u wanna go there...i mean we don look like we are invited...
Ashray:I have a headache ...Y dont v just go home
Me:Lets buy a coffee and spy on these ppl, lest shud they be dangerous...
Andy:Roger That.
So off we go to order coffee.
Scene #2:
At the counter:
Me: Is that thing the HBM 2?
Counter Dude: Yes, it is...r u with them sir
Andy: Nope !
Me:Is the coffee free if we r with them?
Counter Dude:...(Glares)...no sense of humor
Andy: 1 brisssta choco n 1 brista frappe
Counter Dude:168 bucks sir
Me: Flash my debit card..whcih has an AC balance that aint worth mentioning
Counter Dude: Sorry sir we dont accept debit cards...
(Lightning strikes, thunder roars....)
Me:Wheere is the closest ATM?
Counter Dude: No Idea.....(Still carrying dirty looks)
blah blah blah...we finally end up finding an ATm and getting cash out to pay for our coffee.

Scene #3
me:i think it is time to meet up with these guys...
Andy:Roger that
Ashray:I have a headache ...Y dont v just go home
Me: walk upto the group n say...Is this the HBM II?(As if I didnt know)
they:Yup budy, welcome to HBM II
Blah blah blah...
met some really interesting people.
Met this Femme who went to CAT classes and did as bad as I did in the CAt
Met this fellow Keralite who I guess speaks as bad a Malayalam as I do.
Also met some pro bloggers who have been blogging for 2 years..whew!
the usual stuff hapened, snaps were taken, blabber was exchanged...the most interesting point to note were the number of Sony digital cameras out there..almost ll the cameras that flashed were Sony ones...Akio Morita is smiling.....and then finally the inevitable happened.
Ashray:I have a headache ...Y dont v just go home
So we decided to push off lest shud ashray start cribbing again abt his %$%^$#.
Rohit:Bye, dude...it was a pleasure meeting u ppl
Andy:Bye, dude...it was a pleasure meeting u ppl
Ashray:I have a headache ...Y dont v just go home
and we left.
Moral of the story: MOst of the hyderabadi bloggers are working, more than 24 years old, and have a serious attatchment with their blogs
p.s: i was informed before i leave that if u r a student blogger and not an earning member like the majority of the ones there(Oracle, Wipro, Delloite...n what not)..then u can order what u like and not worry abt the bill...U dont need to pay.
Had this been mentioned before, me wudnt have gone lookin for an ATM!!!...and at 21 years of Age, we were among the youngest bloggers out there!

Male Chauvinist Persona

2004-12-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

Men sometimes crack their skulls trying to figure out the women. What on earth goes on in the minds of the female of the species? "Does he like me?"
"Will he call?"
"Does he love me?" I have no freaking idea. Trying to decode the brain of the opposite sex can be an agonizing ordeal. Look at us Men..what do u think goes on in this mind?"Beer
Boobs
Basketball"

Strangely, women will resort to desperate measures to hopefully get an answer from the ether : plucking flower petals ("he loves me, he loves me not"), consulting tarot readers or tea readers in Guangzhou. Scissor, paper, stone?

It takes a man to knock some sense into the otherwise delusional mindset of women.
I am waiting for that to happen.
As u wud have guessed by now, a particular sect of the female species has pissed me off....and this is my retaliation.
This is me at my Chauvinist best!!!

[Hair] Cut

2004-12-01T09:34:00.000-08:00

I entered the shedding phase today, and got rid of a major chunk of my hair....on the head mind you. My Mom tried her best to persuade me not ot cut my hair, My Grandmom threatened me with no more desserts if the hair were to be cut and my sister...well she was the only one who understands fashion in this house of philosophers......but I , living in the world of George Bush, who takes no heed to the UN, Decided to go ahead with the haircut.
Scene #2 Place:Evlas Salon
kich kich kich kach kich kich kich....no this is not an ad for Vicks, this is the noise I heard at the saloon. 35 minutes into the haircut, i open my eyes and .......[Shocked Expression]........where the F#$W is my hair?...Ok I can see something here and some here as well....I kinda liked the haircut, but what scaredme was the fact that 20 minutes from now, I wud have to face my Mom!!....The haircut was like that of a NDA cadet, and to top it all, I was wearing Combat Pants...so each time I passed those Gates in Sainikpuri(Allahabad Gate, AOC gate etc...) I wud receive a half a Salute from the jawans.....
Scene #3
Me: Knock knock,
Mom: Who is there
Me: hep dude!
Mom:Hep Dude who?
Me: Hep dude Me, Sunny!
Mom:What the H$%# have u done with ur hair???[shrieks]
[Sounds of a Sniper gun Loading]
Mom: Bhaag beta...aaj tujhe is goli se sirf tumhare pair bacha sakte hain
Me:........Wat dyu think I wud risk it standing there?...after all My She is a counter strike players Mom...and the Magnum can do enough damage no matter where it hits

Last seen, Robert Rodriguez spotted me running and decides to cast me for his next film...Run Rohit Run...in Hindi...Bhaag Rohit Bhaag....
p.s: Run Lola Run in Hindi was called Curfew btw...and it starred Nandita Das...and was one of the F$%%^^$ films I have ever seen!

Neo Shanker

2004-11-29T10:26:00.000-08:00

today, I learnt something verry useful...and I consider it my duty to pass this gyaan on to u agyaani shishyas..(Sanskrit was never my second language)...I learnt today that whatever they teach u at school applies only to the point of writing ur exams...once ur done with it, please take the unnecassary info off ur head, cos in this world, all that is of no use. I learnt this lesson when I tried to cross the road to get from one end to another by foot in Hyderabad. Here it goes:
Date:29/11/04....Venue:Begumpet, Hyderabad
I was at Planet sports and wanted to cross and get to lifestyle. So I used all the principles od road safety that Miss Sheila Panicker had instilled into me(if u havent figured out, miss shiela panicker was my teacher at kindergarten, n no, I dont remeber her real name..the name i used is fictitious). So I first looked left, to see if there was any vehicle coming, then i looked right, then i looked left again, and then right, then left and then right...but this god damn flow of gaadis just dint take the naam of stopping.....I waited for eggjactly 15 minutes but cudnt move an inch.
then this juntleman wearing the most gawdy pants I have ever seen comes up and stands next to me. Let us call him Neo Shanker(U will get the pun later). now this dude, throws all the values of road safety into the dibba and does this kewl little thing. he llooks straight at the direction where ihe was headed to and sets off with one hand stretched out indicating the traffic to stoop...at first i thot he was out to comit suicide, but 55 seconds later, he was on the us par of the sadak and all the vehicles stopped.....
Me:How...how did he do that?
My Tanhaiyee:He is the one
I mean, neo stopped these 20mm bullets comin at him and the world went...Wow, this neoshanker of ours stopped 120 heavy vehicles in hyd with the strtch of his hand...what do you expect the world to say?
and thus, I achieved road gyaana...jus the way some dude achieved bodh gyaana.....and believe it or not, me managed to do the same feat...took me 2 minutes though...dont trust these bus wallahs....some more practise and me shall master the art...and become neorohit......so out goes my road sense value, out go my moral science values..hehehe...
btw.this blog entry is like a sanjay leela bhansali film...started off sayin something and ended up saying something totally duur from the begining...lol

Sunday Blues

2004-11-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

I slept like sleeping Beauty today...the only difference was that...n0 princess woke me up with a kiss...and of course the fact that I am not beautiful....uff, me and my suxy jokes...Well this is the first sunday in a long long time...where i got to sleep till 11:00.....otherwise the AIMCATs wud send me to bathe by 8:30...yawn..how interesting a life i lead.....What else did i do today?....I saw a movie in the afternoon..asusual...Dad wanted to drive down the nostalgia lane with a classic...so we watched Tora Tora Tora.....and I almost fell asleep again!
I learnt how to make banana souffle today....actually I was forced to do so, what with Dad taking my comp and sis the music system, I was forced to watch Tv with Mom ...Khana Khazana....if anybody can overreact after Simi Garewal and Jassi, it is that chef on the show...("yeh namak ekdum lajawab swaaad dega aapke is manpasand khane ko")..and his jokes were worse than mine.(I dont have the nerve to crack one now)...makes me puke....me off before i dirty my keyboard

2004-11-27T00:29:00.000-08:00

Do I need to say more?....I wish I cud do nothing all my life!...and still get paid....hehehe

Mike testing

2004-11-25T10:26:00.000-08:00

one two three..hello..One two three.....Mike testing ...hello one two three.....theek hai saar...kam kar rahaaa hai!
Not in the mood to post..but dint want to break the continuity of the blog...So I give u the three words i heard the most today...thanx to some Celebrations going on close to Home!!!.....mike testing...one two three...hellooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naach

2004-11-24T07:38:00.000-08:00

I saw Naach today. So I guess today’s blog entry is probably gonna be a review of the movie. So here it goes:
I don’t have the habit of beating around the bush. so I shall come straight to the point. Naach is not the best movie to have come out from the Ramu Stable. But Naach is not the worst either. Actually Naach hangs in between the two. Naach is an intense love story….so if u r going there expecting a Rangeela, get ready to be disappointed. But if u r going there with an open mind, get ready to be mesmerized. At least I was. The pace of the movie is slow…and it being an intense love story, it suits it to the T.
In the acting department, Abhishek Bachchan gets a straight A, he just reinstated my faith in him being a good actor. He just walks through the emotional scenes like no one else before. Antara Mali, I guess is the only one among the current bandwagon of Abbreviated Clothing Genre(Read Mallika, Kareena, Neha Dhupia), who can act. The surprise package is Ritesh Deshmukh who has a cool cameo and also delivers. Hats off to Ramu for tapping thou potential!
Now for the flip side. I think the movie cud do with a little more editing. The Costumes are too loud…and the sudden song and dance outbreak in the second half spoil the pace of the film. A couple of dance steps become too repetitive as the movie progresses.
But all in all, an amazing movie. It has shown things the way it happens. The movie has portrayed the emotions in the manner it needs to be portrayed on screen. So no Mushy mushy stuff here. All in all a Movie for the classes.
My favorite part of the film was the argument between Abhishek n Antara just before the interval…I think everything was just perfect in that scene…at least acc to me.
I would give it 3 stars….would have got 4 if not for the stupid costumes and the sudden and unnecessary songs in it!!!.

btw, a cool offer at Imax...Buy 2 tickets and get the third one free...for all shows before 5:00PM...and watmore, U can also get a game coin free with every ticket. For Once, The Customer is King i shud say!!!

IDIOT Box

2004-11-23T10:17:00.000-08:00

Morpheus: Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don't like the idea of feeling that I am being controlled by someone else.

Matrix has been played so many times on my DVD that today, my TV began to take Neo's words seriously. Today, the remote stopped functioning...or shud i say the TV refused to let someone else control it.....I replaced the batteries but to no avail....and the whole process of walking down to the Tv which is like 2 feet away from my bean bag to switch channels is a total pain!...and whats a bigger pain?..it is to move from channel 12(MTV) to Channel 45(HBO)...I have to go thru the process of clicking next and scan thru the crap from 12-45....and for once, it made me say it finally
"The Idiot Box" is a total F&^#$% Machine!"..atleast tonite

ctrl + z

2004-11-22T07:32:00.000-08:00

It has been two days since my laast post...been busy u c..on the 20th, I was busy studying for the CAT next day..or atleast pretending to study...and on the 21st, I was busy sulking or maybe pretending to sulk after the disaster in CAT.
yes, the CAt went to the dogs!..the change of pattern, No analytical Reasoning section and data intepretation that resembled the American Voting pattern.....sent the CAT for a toss. I actually ended up messing even my Verbal...:(
If not for my stupid idea of skipping 3 easy passages to devote more time to the impossible DI paper....I wud have had a decent score atleast...U know what i miss the most now??...the undo button.
Its so much better on the comp, make a mistake and press ctrl+Z, and voila..problem solved, u r sent back to square1...now y doesnt this happen in real life...I guess we shud let Microsoft make the life program as well.....I know, we will end up crashing 4 times a day and ur face will resemble the BSOD(blue screen of death for the ignorant ones) every 2 hours.....but atleast we wud have the option of reverting things....atleast we wud have ctrl+z...atleast i wud have had a better score...if only!!!

Happy Budday to Me

2004-11-18T18:44:00.000-08:00

"Happy buday to me,
Happy Budday to me,
Haapy Budday to Dear me, me...
Happy Budday to me"

Than q Thanq....Thanq....I love you all!!
Just in case u are wondering what to buy me for a birthday gift, think no more, cos I shall make that pareshaaani dissappear as well!...
My Wish List:
1. Apple iPod(even the mini will do)
2. Ati Radeon x800(256mb) / Geforce6800 Ultra(256Mb)
3. A Girl friend
4. Bmw Z3(I forgot the specs...but any BMW model will do.)
5. Nikon e700i(7.1 Megapixel Camera)
6. A girlfriend..again
Quite a small list....Shudnt be difficult to find either.
I am waiting.........
...........Again, Happy Budday to me, Happy budday to me!!!!

Drug Fuelled Love Letter

2004-11-17T19:32:00.000-08:00

"Out of all the times I`ve been on acid, I`ve never been able to hallucinate with such repetitive control. I`m hallucinating at will, over and over again in this English shoebox with pastel curtains and normal little Victorian lamps and drawers. It`s all too normal and impossible to explain.I`m not very drunk.It`s like controlled bedspins and I`m the exorcist.
I really do care but I`m not very convincing.He`s sad. I`m sad. My throat is a swollen tumour, blood sausage, colon. I puke air after coughing. It was morning by the time I fell asleep after talking to you.200lbs. I thought of a great idea for our video. Oh forget it"
-Kurt Kobain

This letter written to Courtney Love by Kurt Kobain during the 1991 British Tour is going under the hammer. The price $14000....yeah, u wish!

Who says Politicians don't have brains!

2004-11-16T08:22:00.000-08:00

Who ever said politicians walk around with a brain the size of a peanut, praised the peanut....ok! even I dont know what that meant.
anyways, coming back to the point, Fuel Prices Brought Down!...Sounds like music to our ears doesnt it. Petrol prices have come down by more than a rupee scream the headlines.....but then people, why dont you get it, the prices had gone up by 2 bucks just last week.
The Government is playing a nice little game here. First they hike the prices of fuel by twice of what is required and then when pressure is put by the opposition and their own party members, they reduce the hike by half....people are khush and so is the government.
This is the Osmania way of doing things.......remeber the time when they wanted to install 6 speed breakers in their campus, they made 12 of them. When the student organizations and the staff protested, they promptly removed 6 of them....what a phsycological game that was....everybody is happy....Ramu is happy, shamu is happ and OU is also happy.....
.....and they call our politicians Dumb!!
Edward de Bono are you listening....this is a more practical application of Lateral thinking...than what u have explained in ur best sellers.......Kudos to you UPA

The Alchemist

2004-11-16T07:34:00.000-08:00

My favorite quotes from my current favorite book, The Alchemist :

"What's the world's greatest lie?" the boy asked, completely surprised. "It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie."

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting."

"It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them."

"People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want. We are afraid of losing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same Hand."

"Life really is generous to those who pursue their destiny."

"The problem is that they (the sheep) don't even realize that they're walking a new road every day. They don't see that the fields are new and the seasons change. All they think about is food and water. Maybe we're all that way, the boy mused."

Eid Mubarak

2004-11-15T00:26:00.000-08:00

Eid Mubarak to you all!
Two festivals back to back...I have a reason for adding those extra kilos. It was nice while it lasted I mite say. The fun in eating a "Death by choclate" while all your friends who are fasting look upon it with their gluttonous eyes, holding back their tempations, is a treat in itself. Thank god Hindu Mythology doesnt have any such conditions of fasting for a whole month....phew...I wud have converted to christianity...or maybe even buddhism.
Welcome back guys, you can now eat as much as you want to, you can now mouth off those gaalis you were holding back for a whole month and yes, you can again shamelessly drool over the hot girls(there arent too many in college though)....have an amazing Ramzan.!

Honour the Gods, Love thy woman and Fight for your Blog

2004-11-14T06:02:00.000-08:00

Welcome to a new day! I just came back after giving another gruelling AIMCAT(for the ignorant lot, this is the All India Mock CAT conducted by TIME for the CAT aspirants) This is probably the last AIMCAT I willl be taking this year cos the Main CAT is next week. Yes, you heard it right. In a weeks time from now, I will be giving the worlds toughest B School Entrance Exam and here I sit in front of the beige box blogging myself to glory!
That reminds me, today is 14th November, Childrens day. Once upon a time when I was a child, we used to look forward to this day thanx to that small packet of sweets and choclates we were given at school and the immense pleasure we got out of watching those teachers, who just luvved to cane u, try their best to entertain you with their jhatkas and matkas. Those days were fun, no worrying abt exams, no stress, no ladki ka chakkar, no nothing, simply fun.
Not much has changed though. Even today, exams dont give me any kinda tension(who cares!!!), stress is what i go through when i have to take the stairs down to the parking bay, and as far as the ladki goes, Women still find me repulsive.....what the heck...GOD are you reading this blog???
Oh yeah, before I forget, lemme take the pains to say "Nice Try" to Mayank who was quite offended about the Pun intended jokes that I had posted keeping him in mind, decided to pay me back in the same coin by posting some wierdo crap on his blog. But unfortunately for him, Nobody reads his blog....but anyways...that was a gud try. I luvv competition....If it is war that you want, then so be it..
I live by a Rule,"Honour the Gods, Love thy woman and fight for your Blog"...

P.S:btw, that password changing trick of urs was a cheap one Mayank. I Demand an Apology, Or thy shall pay the price. The Apology needs to be public, so post it as a comment!

2004-11-12T22:21:00.000-08:00

From the Author of "7 Habits of Highly Successful Jehadis", comes Another Best Seller. Book Ur Copy now.!!

Happy Diwali

2004-11-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

Today is Diwali, so Happy Diwali to All!!..
Today is the day where the good triumphs over the Evil.(Please do not misread the good and the evil as India and Pakistan..and the ocassion being another thrilling Cricket Match.) Today is the day when the Dude(read as Ram) who after killing the Gangsta(read as Ravan) comes back home. This is his welcome party.....as u can see, we Indians love happy endings.
Happy DIwali ONce Again!

Adieu Arafat, U were an [inspiration]

2004-11-11T05:31:00.000-08:00

An [icon] is Dead!..may his soul Rest In Peace

Indias Entry to the Oscars.

2004-11-10T09:29:00.000-08:00

This is one movie u definitely dont want to miss. Believe me people, I thought that the committee which chose Indias entry to the Oscars consisted of a bunch of jokers...and I thought so till i finally heard their latest Entry.
I take back every word i said about those people.Finally, somebody has driven sense into this whole Idea of filming. A Marathi film Shwaas is Indias Entry to the OScars.
I hope it wins out there, and even if it doesnt, it is not because the movie is a bad one, it is just because the Jury is a bunch of Jokers. A must watch movie for every Tom Dick and Hari.
Get the DVD, go to the Theate, Download the Movie, Do whatever it takes but do watch it.
I know it is Marathi, but what the hell, if you can watch Run Lola Run and Choker bali...then why not Shwaas....
Keep coming back for a complete Review of the Film....
:) Yes I havent seen it yet...but it is on download process, Bit Torrent says 33% done.(Piracy Rocks...sometimes)..so another 2 days wait I guess....heheehe
I Dont Practise what I Preach

The govt. is Jealous of my Hair

2004-11-09T03:32:00.000-08:00

Hello people,
the next time you see me and dont recognise me, I wont blame you for that. A lot has changed over the week. Firstly, the government introduces the Helmet Rule, making it compulsory for 2-wheeler owners to put on that heavy piece of Armour to protect thy head...(little do they know that there aint no nothing inside to protect). I am not too sure if this Helmet thingy on my head is safe or not...but what the government has successfully managed to do is to ruin my precious spiked hair..
yes people, you herd it right, the spikes are gone, the helmet had it for breakfast. So the next time u see this rotten face walkin with dishevelled hair on his head, u guessed it right, it wud be me. What was your problem MR Y.S.R.Reddy??? I know u have a receding hair line but that aint mean that u get jealous of my hair??
But then there is a positive side to it too. Look at it this way guys, My pocket money will stretch by another 100 bucks every month...thanx to no more hair gel....and just when I begin to rejoice this hike in pocket money, comes the second jolt of the week. HIKE IN FUEL PRICES...petrol now costs 44 bucks a litre??? For a person like me who travels 16 KM a day on the bike to go to college and pretend to study, that is a jolt....and a big one too.
As the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.......So I have decided to brave all this and ome up with a solution. I can get my spikes back, and still not shell out so much moolah to eat the dust and pollution. I have decided to sell my bike.
So all you people who wish to buy a bike which Rohit Used and one with an amazing mileage of 30 KM per litre..(Free Brochure to Oil wells for Sale will be provided on request), please feel free to contact me at mad_toothbrush@hotmail.com
What the hell, as part of the ongoing Diwali Dhamaka, i will put in a couple of Metallica and Iron Maiden CDs free with the bike..
now if u r wondering what will happen to me once the bike is gone...wory not fellow men, my Dad has promised to let me use a vehicle worth 10 lakh rupees....myuahahah...the APSRTC bus...
16A, 24E Here I come!!!!...I will have my spike back, I will have more money...but I will miss goofy...(goofy is my bike..and yes I do have a name for everything I use...i believe in personalising things.).

2004-11-07T18:40:00.000-08:00

My thoughts were similar

my Time has ComE

2004-11-07T18:34:00.000-08:00

Hello people,
The day has arrived. The day for which I went to college and pretended to study beckons me. yes, it is eggjam time...again.
Every six months this system of ours decides to test how much we have managed to mug up by attending classes(ehmehm)....they dont give no rats ass to what practical knowledge we have gained(how to login into the server with the Admin password and change thy atendance, how to eat and not pay at the canteen, how to paly computer games in the collge LAB without getting caught).
Today is the day when every student worth his salt is expected to go to the eggjam hall and ....well faint, sleep, sing....do whatever...as long as you aint writing its fine....cos it is when you start writng that the trouble begins.
This whole system is wrong......if only i were the education minister.....but then i am not qualified enough though(never been to jail, never killed a man{though I came close to killing my H.O.D})
Eggjams Becckon...my time has come....
when the going gets tough, I take the elevator!!!....even I don know what that means..any ways
Wish me Luck!

Watcha look for?

2004-11-05T21:18:00.000-08:00

"Just in case you clicked over here cause you were looking for some words to fight with, let's have a little education session for you.

1. This is a blog, not an academic paper. Last time I checked our stats, you are only like me when I am bitchy. I write nice stuff with the same care and attention to everybody's feeeelings that I do in school and what happens? Nobody reads/comments/gives a damn. That's why half the time, professors don't even do it. It's boring and we know it.

2. This is our blog, not our soul (our= Me and my Tanhayee). We both live in uber-liberal places and as a result play nicely with our uber-liberal friends. By which I mean friends, not token (x-party member) bullshit. We do so because our ( Me and my Tanhayee) uber-liberal friends know how to take it as well as dish it out.

3. If you have no sense of humor or grip on reality, you will probably be pissed off here. This is not Uncle Rohit's Bachelor party(though there is that, too!), so if that's what you were looking for, go away.

4. Slug away all over the blogosphere if you want, but we won't tolerate it here. You can argue with us if you like, but we're actually pretty nice people and should you turn out to be an asshole you'll probably get banned from commenting.

5. If you have nothing better to do with your life than hate on people, then your soul will probably eat you alive and you will grow up to be a terrorist, and the U.S. army will come and blow your face in, so I suggest you go find your happy place and start searching for inner peace and don't come back here until you've normalized."
It's a blog, kids, quid pro quo is allowed.
Now get along and don't ruin the day for everyone else. And try to keep your paranoia to yourself.
Love Rohit n his tanhayee!!!

Congratulations to Bush and condolences to the Americans

2004-11-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

My thoughts before November 2nd:
"If there’s one thing that Pres. George W. Bush is good at, it is his sterling ability to perpetuate self-terrorism and instilling a culture of fear among his own people. Being in a fight or flight condition 24/7 is hardly the way to live the free, democratic ideal that America so passionately espouses to the interstellar galaxy. Please observe a moment of silence to appreciate the irony.

Freedom with fear is not freedom in the real sense of the world. Perhaps Americans need to be reminded of that?

Now that Osama Bin Laden did some trick and trickin’ of his own, Bush Jr. has once again jumped at the opportunity to revitalise and resurrect the fear and neurosis of the American people to advance his own agenda. It won’t be a surprise if hysterical, fear stricken Americans will abandon all logic and once again vote for Bush."

My Ramblings today:

So much for the international spectator sport that is American Democracy. Enough of the gladiatorial combat. Anyway, it seems that George W. Bush is getting a go at it again. Advance congratulations to Bush and condolences to the American people.

Pun Intended.....myuahahaha

2004-11-04T18:37:00.000-08:00

Mayank: Mom, it happened again last night. I go to the loo and open the door and the light automatically comes on!
Mayank's Mom: Oh NO! U dirtied the fridge yet again.....Ullu de phatte

btw, Do you know what a Singh stands for??
S.I.N.G.H: SArdar Insaan Nahin, Gadha Hai..
....now was it Mayank Singh?
....maybe it wasnt!!...I forgot it was mayank yankugee right!!!

Why does Ashray open his lunch box in the middle of the Road??
To confirm whether he is going to college or Comin back from college

All the Charecters in the above sequence are fictional(the real ones are far more stupid) Any resemblance to any person Living or dead is purely Coincidental.
in other words, Dudes...this is purely pun intended..
ROFL!!!

Book Review....Movie Review...life review..call it what u like

2004-11-04T03:53:00.000-08:00

Hello People. Its been a busy week for me. What with college closed for a study holiday, and me left in the lurk to complete the syllabus of 6 months in freaking 6 days. It was driving me nuts.
I mean all the crap we have to study, everything that makes no sense at all. How does it bother me if on pressing Enter after typing a URL, a packet is broken down in bits, bytes and what ever and then attached with a checksum that allows for a cyclic redundancy check at the DNS which is responsible for routing the package to the correct router to display hotmail.com. Gimme a break people!! All I care about is that when I press enter whether this site opens up or not.
God why am I doing this!!
Anyways, today I decided to take a break and watch a movie instead. Not that I didn’t watch one yesterday or the day before. Ok so coming to the point, I made my popcorn, and settled down on the couch to watch a movie on ZMZ()that’s the new name for Zee MGM). It was this French movie called “Amelie” and all I can say after watching it is WOW!! This was a complete masterpiece. The Humor, the direction the camera work everything was a piece of art. Believe me, this movie was made under a budget of 25 lakh Rupees. But no Bollywood movie cud match this one for its design and overall appearance. French Cinema, take a bow! I haven’t seen too many French movies but the ones I have seen have always caught my fancy. The other film that comes to my mind is Run Lola Run. Another masterpiece. We really need to learn a lot from these guys there (at least I do).
Me got to go back to the grind now. Stash the Films for the moment and dig into TCP/IP and Eunuchs Programming(oops a typo, it is Unix)
Anyway whatever it is, IT SUCKS….(IT can be read as it or as IT(Info technology))

The World is Goin Crajeee

2004-11-02T04:15:00.000-08:00

this is an interesting writeup i stumbled upon on the net today. Really thought provoking I wud say
"'You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.'"

Request: Puhleeees post A Comment

2004-11-01T21:14:00.000-08:00

Hello People,
There is this 1 question that has been lingering in my mind ever since I made this blog."How many people actually read what I write?"
I seriously did not think anybody was reading the crap that I keep posting. that was until yesterday when I met 3 people who have been religiously following my blog. 3 people reading my blog and I dint know of it.
So here is a request to all you nirvana attained earthlings who read anything that is thrown at you. Please post a comment after you finish reading it. It pains me to see blogs of other people where the post is 1 line in length and is followed up with 23 comments.:(
It aint gonna take much of your time. just scroll down to the end of the post and voila, there is a link called Comment | Backtrack. Click on it and post a comment(all comments are welcome). Take this as a survey of mine to study the habits of all the idle minds on mother EarTh.

Part of me

2004-11-01T09:55:00.000-08:00

Today, somebody told me that I cud never get serious in my life, that I cud never play a romantic in this birth. So here is my answer to all those who feel that there is no sensitive side to me. This is a poem I had written way back in 2003....and today I post it out here for all you people. AND YES, I AM THE POET IN PICTURE...this aint no copy...Ladees and Juntelmen...I give you...
"Part of Me"

The moment you walked through my door
And I laid eyes on you
I felt something special
Like I never knew

You filled my days with sunshine
Blew away the clouds of night
When I was feeling bad
You made my worries seem so light

Then came the day my heart stopped
And all my fears came true
The tears ran down my face
As I thought, "It can't be you"

That's the day my life shattered
Like a windowpane of glass
I prayed that you would be ok
And that the day would pass

I kept saying "I know you can"
I swore that you'd pull through
But I felt so helpless
Cause there was nothing I could do

I remembered all the times
You'd walked me home in the rain
You helped me when I needed you
But now I can't feel your pain

I remember all the cherished times
That seemed so long ago
And I can't stop from crying
Cause I want you to know

I hope if you don't realize it
That someday you will see
You're not just one within yourself
You are a part of me
-rohit

Manifesto

2004-10-31T07:12:00.000-08:00

"It is through the invincibility of words that I free myself from the ball and chain of reality. Writing is my Prozac, my Kryptonite, my stimulant and depressant, my redemption and my deliverance. Without it life is cold and damp, a godforsaken land of white sepulchers entombing the living. Life stirs life into words. Words stir life into life.

My words will be ferocious when my heart is ablaze, subtle and caressing when my soul is at peace. Like watermarks or cigarette burns, they will be shy or relentlessly ruthless. I will awkwardly fumble with the lenses of life, enjoy shutter plays and objects flirting in my peripheral vision. I will wait for shadows to lengthen and patiently sit by the river. Fury will be poetic, candor will be my ardor, hope will be a floating cannonball, and happiness, a tulle of stars."

2004-10-29T19:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Budday Satish....U r now official 80 years old...Thy can now command a senior citizen respect

SOLUTION SELLING

2004-10-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

A keen immigrant Indian lad(U can call him Rohit) applied for a salesman's job at a London's premier downtown department store. Infact it was the Biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.
The boss asked him,"Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a salesman in India", said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5:00 came around.
The boss duly came up and asked, "How many Sales did you make today?".
"One" said the young salesman.
"Only one?" blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a
day.
How much was the sale worth??."
"Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four pounds" said the young Indian.

"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well", said the salesman, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one.

I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagon probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser"

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment,
"You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?".

"No" answered the salesman, "he came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's screwed, you may as well go fishing.'"

THAT IS SOLUTION SELLING !!!

Vicco Vajradanti :: Test of T.I.M.E

2004-10-25T10:56:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the only other entity that can match Vicco 'Vajradanti' toothpaste and skin cream when it comes to standing the test of time, is Jyoti Basu.

Of course, most of you who have ever watched TV have surely watched the distasteful spectacle that are Vicco advertisements. I would like to find out who it is that gets allured by close-ups of the human jaw, with shreds of an apple bite hanging from the sides. Or an extremely unphotogenic old man with an unsymmetric moustache chewing off cud from a length of sugarcane, his saliva on the verge of dripping out of a crevice in between his lips. Or perhaps a wound on the hairy knee of some fat bugger who looks like an actor from a B-grade South Indian movie.

Yet, these advertisements have been running on TV and Cinema Halls since decades. Be it Prasads in hyderabad or Jyoti talkies in Bihar, no movie is complete without visuals of human anatomy from distasteful angles. Much mind-bogglingly, their stuff sells.
And I think I can cut a career in advertising leaarning fom the likes of Piyush Pandey and Tarsem....what a loser i am....Shakeela baby, here i come...

gloBal wArming

2004-10-23T04:19:00.000-07:00

"I am so hot...that scientists have attributed me as the sole reason for Global warming"
- Rohit(ehem...male libido speaking)

2004-10-23T04:06:00.000-07:00

This is funny

2004-10-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

.....................There should be a better way to start a day
than waking up every morning................
[yAwn]

if wishes were horses......

2004-10-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

hello people,
I know it has been quite some time since i have put in anything sensible into this page. Come to think of it there ait no nothing that is sensible on this blog ever since i started writing it. So lets get on with it.
I wonder as i sit here what is the one thing I want the most......
is it the all new X800 graphics card from ATI
...is it the new porsche gt2 that has just been launched in india
or is just a girl???
Yeah I know...I have always found women more attractive than cars o computer games...but the problem u c is at the other end.
I jus dont understand y women find me so repulsive???
Anybody with a solution to ma problem know where to find me...
....no, not at the irls college....
jus mail in the solution to me...or post it as a comment...
But Y me???
hngin the line finally...
over n out
Burp

How's the wAr been working For yoU

2004-10-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

"I heard about a woman whose son had returned from Iraq. The boy's father was gone; he was the only family she had. The son had been wounded, badly, and his leg had been amputated above the knee. They'd had trouble obtaining a prosthetic. The boy felt a burden. He was dependent on his mother. He was traumatized by what he'd seen, traumatized by what he'd done, and couldn't imagine his future.

He killed himself a few days ago.

Parenting advice. Indeed.

So George. How's that war been working for you?"

TabbEd brOwsinG...

2004-10-10T04:32:00.000-07:00

Loyalty is not a virtue when it comes to shampoo, hairdressers and web browsers. There's the problem of buildup.

I've put up with Internet Explorer for so long despite its awkward functionality and its inability to open a million windows in one sitting. I can only limit myself to browsing 5 windows simultaneously or else I'd get some annoying alert message that the fucking browser wants to shut down.

To solve this annoyance, I've switched to browsers that use tabs.yes, you guessed it right, I have now moved on to firefox. Viewing a gazillion windows is now as easy as flipping a picture book.
I guess people were right, open source is not that bad after all.