There is no such thing as too much of chocolate and too many women!!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Cliche

It has been raining treats this summer for me, atleast it is raining something. The verrry fact that I am leaving for Pune has got so many people excited that they are throwing parties. But then, I keep thinking if these treats showered upon me is because everybody thinks this is the last time they will get to treat me or they are all soexcited that they will not have to see this horrendous figure anywhere in hyderabad for the next 2 years and cannot hide their happiness........but either way, as long as I am getting treated....I dont give a rats ass to it...........thank u to all u angels and angelas out there who have helped this garib find his do waqt ki roti.
Do waqt ki roti brings me to the point I wanted to discuss so many times on this blog, but never got the waqt. the ever so Cliched bollywood....and how it manages to sell its crap.
the Andhi maa, the berozgaar baap, Sheru the pet, the villain who makes passes at thy maa when u r young and ofcourse a brother who turns the opp to what u r(sometimes I suspect infidelity, how can god and bad come from the same Coke....I mean womb).....oh I forgot the sis who ties rakhi and gives u her saugandh every year. lets skip the heroine, cos I dont want to get into the issues of running around trees singing, rain rain come again!
the days of the eastman color movies are gone, but the cliches have gone no where. even today the villains will come to attack the hero one by one. They may come in a bunch of 15, but they will mantain one hand distance and finger on the lips action while the hero pitafies each one of them singularly.
Oh and have u noticed, how it begins to rain everytime somebody close to the hero dies in the open, and how the thunder rumbles when an angry convo is happ btw the hero and somebody else, and not to forget how the wid blows exactly when the heroine tries to adjust the pallu of her sari......hmm the association of the weather and bollywood is a long one...really long one
And the mobile phones are the most under utilized piece of equipment in bollywood except for breaking into wierd sonngs ike what is mobile number......otherwise, when the need arises, the mobile does the dissapearing act.For example, when the heros bro meets with an accident, (it will begin to rain), the hero will now not ask for an ambulnce, he will instead go from door to door shouting help help in hindi......Use thy mobile duh dial 1091 Appolo emergency, dont try Yashoda, cos they r hoping that u will never need them....
and last but not the least, how the hero smells a rapist as soon as the pallu of the saree is taken off or worst comes worst, the blouse is torn from a strategic location to satisfy the Censors....is it tan ki durgand? is it lack of deo spray used by the rape victims, or is it a defence mechanism that these women in films posses like a fish which releases a stench when attacked upon?.......I simply fail to understand....yet, I am slave to the bollywood......
God save me!

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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

If u are wondering why I havent posted for so long....then I saw this thing the other day that made me think....and now I am revelling in the after affects of putting my idle brain to work without even oiling it ....
Check this out, I am sure u will get thinking too.
EPIC Program in 2016
Getting back to thinking...will post soon...btw, where have the comments died?....I am contemplating taking the comments box off my blog to save the embarresment of seeing 1 comment in a post I posted a decade ago.....

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

Vrrrrrrrrooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm

Having been an avid F1 follower for quite a while, I admired the ability of these masterful drivers to drive those mean monsters on a neat and clean piece of track. When Narain Karthikeyan got into the F1 scene, it was a bigger moment of pride and I thot the world of him...and I did so till I visited Kerala.
IF u ever are to visit kerala, take one of those bus rides on the private busses that ply. the busses are no monsters compared to the frearis and the BMW's, but these brown and pink painted busses with names like "Beenamol"/"Shibin"/Golden Star", and their ever in a hurry drivers make the ultimate combination for a speed junkie. On roads that are just wide enuf for 2 bicycles to pass thru, these busses zoom past at speeds of 80+mph.
we admire the F1 drivers for manuevering those hi speed machines controlled by electronic chips across tracks that were built to handle the kind of conditions these cars put them in. Spare a thot for the bus drivers here who achieve the same feat on a rickety bus and on tracks that were not meant to be driven on. With Narain karthikeyan driving that yellow machine, the probability of him makin a podium finish is as remote as it raing in hyderabad at the moment....but I believe if v were to replace him with one of those drivers from kerala busses, we mite soon see the monaco grandprix having a new winner. the bus stands are a scene worth watching. these busses come in at high speeds and the cunductor then raps the name of the destination it is headed to in a manner which 50cents wud be proud of....all this while the impatient driver keeps acceerating his bus at neutral. the sole aim of all these drivers is that Beenamol shud get to position x before shymlee(and no shymlee is also not elated to bruce lee)
the transport system there is so precise that ppl schedule thier lves as per the convienice of the busses. So if the 10:30 Shibumon is gone, then the dude will skip his day at office and call in sick.and as u have already noticed, the perverse interest in naming all the busses with nouns synonymous of names of human beings......so as u walk by, dont be surprised if somebody asked u "has haritha gone already?" I spent 15 minutes racking my grey cells and digging into my geneology encyclopaedia to find out who this haritha was and how she was related to me, and ofcourse whether she had gone to wherever?.....it was only when a red colored bus zoomed in witha yellow board on top whihc read Haritha, did i realise who the dude was reffering to......phhhhbpt
I cud actually go on and on abt the different observations I made at these places......but I guess I will stop here......cos this gives me more topics to blog abt in the future..
But i seriously plan to shoot an email to bernie ecclestone askin him to give on of these drivers a shot at F1, I am sure they will give the schumis n the raikonens a run for their money.....vrooom vrooom vrooooooooom......
I guess it is time for Rohit to go now....and no I dont mean the Bus Rohit.....i mean me....adios...vroom vrooooooooooooooooom

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Monday, May 09, 2005

The Most expensive Post ever

This is by all means my most expensive post ever. Do u realise that I have jus walked 1 mile in this scorching evening sun(I cant come here after sunset cos this place shuts down), and am currently paying 35Bucks an hour to enjoy a connection that snaps every 10 minutes and gives me a download speed that Adam n Eve might have had during their time..
And guess what, it took me 3 days to actually find this place cos there is no sign of an internet parlour outside. Actually this aint no internet parlour by any means. It has 1 2 computers that Salar Jung wud be proud of, it has a rickety fan that makes a nice little tune which u cud hear in Hindi cinema soon if Anu malik were to visit this place and above all, this place serves cool drinks like, Golden sun(Fanta), Super Rider(some COla..). Oh u also get a bill for surfing here.
How is vacation in kerala u might ask....hmmm, kerala is fun, its an amazxing place....after all it is "Gods Own Country"......but I wud love it if God took some interest into a few things happening in his country.
Electricity for starters, is an indicator of the meteorology departemnt.... any wind above the speed of 5kmph and the wires snap, if rain's are just 2 hours away, the power snaps and god forbid if u r in for a thunderstorm, then dont expect power to be back for the next couple of days.....phew...all this at a temp of 35 and a humidity level of god only knows what....Phewwww.....
Petition number 2 to god is about the Cable television that ur country has to offer. 40 channels is a good thing if u can spread a good variety among the 40. BUt when u have an option of 35 regional channels, 2 religious channels and 1 Arabian Channel, then its Alarm Bells........Puhleeeeesss god, Get in the HBO, get in MTV atleast get in FTV, I am so friggin tired of Surya, Sun, Kiran and all the other synonyms of the SUN god.....
Finally, the last petition, send some bandwith over to this part of the world. I cannot bear to see ppl actually tryin to download songs at 0.34bytes per second. It pains to see such desperate bandwidth poor citizens....

But rest aside, this place rocks. The food is amazing, th lakes are always full of water, the food is even more amazing, the fish is in Unlimited supply..........and the foooood is simbly superb.....
hmmm..I better post this soon cos I can see the winds gaining speed, last thing now is the power to snap before i publish this longest post of mine...(Did I hear somebody say UPS..phhhbtt...)....
btw, I guess I have taken full fayida of my 35 bucks....longest post in some time I shud say...
me off for some more amazing fooooood.........
*GOD, please consider petition 1, 2 carefully.........please do...

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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

In conversation with.....

I think I deserve a break from life.....NO more computers, no more TV no more anything...jus me and nature.........Am hitting Bglr today and then move on to Kerala to meet my roots........and in that place, internet is a distant dream. SO that means no more posts till 19May......
Coconut water, Sea food, Swimming in the lakes, here i come........
......
in the words of Karan Johar.....
"In conversation with the most boring person on earth, Rohit Raj......do go anywhere, we will be right back after the break to bore you more...."

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