There is no such thing as too much of chocolate and too many women!!

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Tommorow is there or not.............

" A bewildering plot, baroque costumes, baby-faced stars, and one memorable Burman hit (Kya huaa, tera vaada, “What happened to your promise?”) mark this as a quintessential 1970s masala potboiler. The presence of international smugglers, a cross-border abduction, helicopter chases, funny cars, frenetic camera work, and jarring visual discontinuities is all likewise standard for the genre and era."
This is Hindi cinema for u...and this is something the rest of the world has not seen....Toady, sitting at the canteen doin nothing as usual, me and a frend decided it was time to show the worrrrllllddd our great indian cinemaaa.
So if v can have a Die another day in telugu titled bhooloka veeerudu....do not ask me the actual translation...i remember the title thats it...and then we have charlies angels in Hindi as "teen devian".......why not do the same with Hindi fillums...So v have chalked out a plan, we will now dub every hit Hindi movie into english and take it to the firangs.......
in the pipeline are a few titles........
Something something happens..................Kuch Kuch Hota hai
Sometimes happy sometimes sad...............Kabhi khushi kabhi gum
People with hearts take the bride away........DDLJ
We gave away my heart dear....................Hum dil de chuke sanam
and last but not the least....
Tommorow is there or not..............kal ho na ho...

considering the response to these 5 biggies, we wil think abt releasing the lesser hits includint B-grade movies for the front benchers.....first in the pipeline wil be..
Tuesday in the forest.................jungle mein mangal
I must say....Blur..U shud do a small survey for us and find out the taste of the firangs there......I mean we want to enter enemy territory fully prepared.......
Is there any movie that also needs to be on this list?.....please enlighten me ...

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

jack of all trades

A rolling stone gathers no moss. That's what my folks and Bob Dylan say but fuck it, I'd rather rock n' roll than gather moss.

A rolling stone is a round one. At least that's how I describe my ever evolving life for now. There are still 999 things left undone out of the infinitesimal infinity that is life. Never settle and never stop learning.

Got a lot of things to learn from people. From you. From me. From them. From heroes and anti-heroes. Got to learn how to cook the perfect lasagna or play an acoustic guitar. Play with the reasons of light or read Neruda by the seashore. There is no such thing as a romantic life, only a romanticized life.

So I'll keep the stone rolling by getting a cookery class certificate and 6 months acoustic guitar lessons. Just for the pure fun of it.

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Friday, March 25, 2005

Do me a favour lets play Holi!

"Do me favour lets play holllliiiiiii
Rango mein hai pyaaar ki bolllliiiiiiii
...................
..............................
....................................
Ja re ja u dont touch my choli.."
If u havent guessed it yet, theese are th lyrics to the latest Anumalik song from Waqt....Akshay kumar n priyanka chopra.....
It currently tops my list of cheesy songs...whcih also include
Kua mein doob jaaongi - Page 3
Dont touch Dont touch - Raja Bhaiya
Teri Kurti Suxy lagdi hai - Vaada
I love u like crajeee - Fida

Enurf.....boy what do ppl think of when they actually write such cheesy stuff.....I mean..gimme a break!
oh btw, before i forgt, here is a happy holi to all of u...the main reason for this post....
Jus came back after watching ppl lght up this chick called Holika...hmm another gurl off the list....People do u realise that we have a dearth of women already.....and killin more of them will only cause a bigger problem!!.....remeber club 67...(for every 1000 males there are 933 females....for the remaining 67 males, v have club 67)

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Record Tod!

Went on a nostalgia drive the other day during a chat session with Blur. Apparently the two of us went to the same college(yes i am educated and i did go to college...its another story that i never attended classes), we also went to the same coaching classes, and coincidentally, we were both at the same place at the same time....a lot of times....when she went for morning walks and i went to gaze at gurls out there for morning walks.....but this post is not abt where both of us went, and y both dint meet till date. This post i about a few achievments of mine at the dreaded hell called Little flower Junior college(LFJC for short), which till date hold as a record of sorts.

I am still the official holder of the record for being the only person in the history of LFJC to be thrown out of class on the verrry first day.
I mean cmon ppl, what do u do when u go to this new place for the first time and u encounter a totla besuraaah voice shouting at the top of his lungs..."Hey Prabhu darshan do...." whcih apparently was the prayer....i just burst out laffing and was thrown out of class.

I also hold the record in LFJC for being the only person to be given a "strict warning" by every lecturer in LFJC, inluding the librarian......the librarian cos i changed the wallpaper on the computers from the LFJC logo to Riya sen in a bikini!!!

I am probably among the verrry few ppl who managed to mantain 4 diaries, and 7 identity cards throughout their tenure of 2 years. 4 diaries meant no diary had more than 5 leave records marked on them....and the 7 identity cards helped me bunk classes everytime, a class whose ID card i possesed had a free time...heheh smart or what!!

Bahadur the watchman earned more than the principal did only becos of people like us who wanted to leave college even before it actually started....5 bucks to leave on foot, 10 to leave with a bike and 25 to leave with a car.....and with aatleast 50 ppl doig this eeryday on an average and the number hitting as high as 100 on a friday, U cud well imagine the moolah he made...

And last but not the least, till the last day of college, I had broken 27 testubes, 11 burretes n pippetes, stolen 4 mouse balls, and mixed all the conc acids with a chemical called H20 whihc makes em the diluted acid.......so much as a revenge to what that hell offered me...

I still think all these records Hold. and if bro James ever read this blog, I am sure no amt of armour wud protect me....he wud actualy nuke me......cos I always used full faida of being a mallu n he being a mallu too...so everytime i awanted leave, it was always.."I aqm off to kerala for a vacation sir"....or ..."Sir, I have IIT coaching all day today sir"....and he always believed me...
hehehe

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Monday, March 21, 2005

To the highest bidder

I am gathering these bits and pieces of my life. Things. Stuff. Possessions. All the items that surround me, that keep me comfortable, that hold memories. And I am photographing them, tagging them, writing descriptions. All to let them go. All to the highest bidder. Parts of my life. Old and new. Substantial and small. Sold and bought, all to be sold again. It's breaking my heart. This letting go. The thought of it, the process, it paralyzes me. Why is it we fight to hang on? Why is it so hard to let go of one's self? It's a jigsaw puzzle, life is. And now I am removing those pieces, one at a time. I'm starting to lose the picture. All I see are holes.

When all is said and done, what will be left? Just me, and these nearly empty rooms. Is that enlightenment? Will that be my salvation? I know, I know.....they are JUST THINGS. They are not the cause of true happiness. Then why am I saddened? Why do I fight to sit down and force myself to go through this process? Perhaps because it's making me realize how desperate I've become. It's making me face what my life is right now. No job. No money. No faith. No hope. and friends...friends in plenty, but the very thot of leaving them all when i leave for Pune....paranoid....

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I feel overwhelmed. I want to run and hide. I want to sleep for a thousand years. And yet I HAVE to do this. I have no choice.

One day soon I'll make a list. A list of the pieces of my life. And you'll see it. Shirt and lamp and cup and frame and clock and book and CDs. Etc. All for sale. Just a few Rupees....a few freaking rupees

Then you'll all own a part of me.

Pieces.

To the highest bidder.

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Friday, March 18, 2005

One Tight Slap!

HOw many times have to looked at the happening wannabe's around u and felt sorry for them from the depths of ur heart?
Every place has it, there is always the Raack is what i listen to types, there is the in yamerica, ppl do lke this wonly types and there is always the Ms Oh Hindi movies so Suck maan types.
Admit it people, No matter what u think this aint cool....if u havent heard Metal myujic then admit it, but please dont call Christina Augelera and britney spears as amazing Rock stars...jus cos they sang.."I luvv rock n roll"....adn if u think that watching 1 episode of friends makes u the koolest dude, and every 24 year old in America is as cool as them, then u r wrong.
The other day i see this dude walkin around with a Tshirt that has Limp Bizkit on it...and When v were talkin abt music, i aked him if he listened to Limp bizkit....his answer..."Kyahaike,, main woh biscuit aaaj thak nahin khaya"....Jesus Christ.
and then u have the whole lot of ppl who think Linkin park is the next huda project after Lumbini park........whoooosh
One tight Slap
I remember talkin to ths chick, and she was like so pro american and full american accent and all....that i thot she was born n brot up there....so when i asked abt where she came from...she was like...i was brn and brot up in india only.....and when u question the accent, she is like..I have many cuzins there.......Ooooh please, u having cousins in us doesnt mean, u get an accent.....
And ofcourse, what is wrong with Hindi movies?...Everybody likes them, but no, I cant admit I like Hindi movies cos I will then become a ghati...so Uncool naa.......Shut the F%$% up.......there is nothing uncool abt watching hindi movies. U will laff, cry and do everything when u watch this movies in hindi...but end of the day, u will be like...Yuck...I saw a hindi fillum!....
God If u really wanted to kill somebody, make sure ppl like these get their chance first....
I propose a toast, to Kunal Ganjawalla, Jassi jaisi koi nahin and to Hindi Movies.....U guys do Rock....nothing wrong in admitting that!!!.

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Personalized ringtones...ooops villaintones

How many people have seen the “k” serials on Star plus on the trot for 2 hours?...Well, I have. Today, my Dad decided to take over my computer cos he forgot his at office, and mommy dearest refused to part with the remote till 11:00PM. So what does Rohit do from 9:00 to 11:00???, he sits with Mom and watches everything on TV from Kkavvyanjali to Kyunki Sauce bhi kabhi tamatar thi….
It takes guts to make such soaps, and it takes much more than guts to watch them. I hereby stand up and applaud all the Women who have turned Ekta kapoor and her Balaji Telefilms into a profit making organization….Bravo! U really deserve to win the Red and White Bravery award for sitting thru such torture everyday.
There is crying, bad acting, stupid plots, unrealistic sense of dressing(Believe me, the women in her soaps, wear Saris woth 10 grand and make up weighing 1 kg even when they go to sleep), and more bad acting and a lot more crying…I mean if they collected all the water that flows out of every actor in her soap operas for a month, Rajasthan might just become another Amazon forest.
But the topic here is not all that. The point here is the background score. I know I have talked a little too much about a little too many things, except what I thot of saying but believe me, the situation demanded it. Okie coming back to the point, the msic in her seriasl simply rock and u got to hand it over to the directors for that. I mean they have a kinda personalized ringtone for evry villainous character in the serial. So while the entry of a character is with a “Athaaaaaa” there I another which goes”Mooooohini….moooohini…” I mean all this takes some verry intense creative juice. If these guys ever went on to join Nokia, we mite have a better sounding ringtones column with us…and there is the situations where we have ramayan slokas being rapped out which cud put Eminem or D12 to shame…Absolutely Wonderful….
This is the kinda talent that gets wasted in our country….these poor ppl don’t even get a mention in the credits.
If I ever make a movie, I am sure I will use this thingy from ekta kapoor in them…if the eighties had villains being recognized by the ultra cool punch lines like, “Mogambo Khush Hua”, the 21st century has something called the personalized ringtones for every villain….
I wonder what I wud be given had I been part of the soap brigade….hmmmmm

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The man who put a smile on the face of all he met

"“A philosopher once wrote you need three things to have a good life. One, a meaningful relationship, two, a decent job of work, and three, to make a difference. And it was always that first one that stressed me, to have a meaningful relationship. And I realise that now I do. Sometimes it is important to take a look around us.....waiting with my fingers crossed"
Simply put, tommorow, if somebody asked me
“How would you like to be remembered?”
I would say
“Simply, as, the man who put a smile on the face of all who he met.”

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Friday, March 11, 2005

An idiots guide to Eunuchs

Scene1 take 1:: Outide the Library at Nizam College.
Rohit is sitting with his usual group of phalthus like im and talkin abt serious issues like women, movies and Rock concerts.
Walk in Mrs. Vijaylaxmi(name not changed to mantain embarresment protocol)...She was at one point of time our Head of the Dept. And she still cannot differentiate between a CD and a Floppy...but cut the crap...comin to the point.
She comes with a stagger in her walk that cud rival Will smith any give point of time. Now this lady cannot go past a group of students without interacting with them and giving them a point ot laff about for a week. and today, it happened to be Rohit, she chose.
So here v go
Mrs V: aaan U, yes u only maan ...Rohit Raaz(it is Raj whihc she convieniently convtd to raaz like she does to the jebras ion the joo from jimbabwe)...Please come here
Me: Yes maam, how can i help u?(courteous me)
Mrs V: I beleive u have studied Eunuchs before?
me:*wide eyed, Dumbstuck, bewildered .....and what not!!!#@@!#
Mrs V: Can I borrow some books of eunuchs from u, I think I am slowly begining to like it.
First i thot it was verry verry complex, but now u c as i learn them slowly, i think it is verrry nice.
Me:Still in a stoned state....dumbstruck and bewildered
Mrs v:: Kindly, if u dont mind, please get me book on Eunuchs...see the Library has very few books on it...
Me:: Maam, Eunuchs ...what makes u think i have books on Eunuchs???
Mrs V:: U will have no, last month u gave me Linux books so u shud have unuchs books also, cos from Eunuchs only,Linux came...

Bolt of lightning strikes, cloud forms over rohits head and finally Rohit attains Nirvana.

Mrs V was talking abt UNIX and she kept saying UNUX for UNIX and me pereverted me, kept thinning Eunuchs.....hehehehe
But believe me, the way she said it, I was not the only one who fell prey....had Linus tovarlds herd the last line..."From Eunuchs only , Linux came'.......only god knows what he wud have done to himself..
So all u ppl learning Unux!!! all the best...
Well we have had zava, unux ...what next?
Hail Mrs Vijaylaxmi...only our tranvestite English sir can match thy!!!

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Televison....huh!!!

OKie, its been a lonnng time since i actually put up something enlightnening on my blog and it shows, the TRP ratings are goin down and so are the comments. But what to od...i was stuck up with all the bschool entrances all this while...pretending to be working my ass off to get in...but now all put aside, let us talk of something useful.
What is the only thing that my complete family listens to, even though it pakaaos more crap than i do?...its the Television.....and why wudnt it be....and as usual, i was watching our much lauded machine when i came accross this verry informative channel called Aastha.
Now how many of u who havent heard of this before presume Aastha to be a B-grade porn channel?(See 47 hands have gone up already). I thot so too...the only reason why i held on to it for a few minutes. Right comin to the topic, this is an amazing channel i might say. We have this 87 year old Veejay on it who can give the Punk in the Vicco Vajradanti ad a run for his money.
And boy is he popular or what. Now Mr 87 year old is also health concious buddy. and most of his programmes are workout materials.
Like this one the other day, where he was tellin ppl how to grow hair fast and get rid of dandruff.
How many of u knew that by rubbbing the fingernails of both ur hands against ach other, u will increase the growth rate of ur hair by 37%?....See isnt that information or what. Now we know how Rapunzel had so much of hair.
oh yeah and btw, according to Mr 87 year old, any food other than ayurvedic food will lead to impotency. Yeah right Laloo prasad yadav must have survived on amla, keshtail and kumkumaditailam...for him to have 13 freaking children.
The point here is, that this dude gets to say all that comes to his mind and ppl will ridiculously follow him. I hope he aint got no blog....cos it pains me to see ppl talking such crap getting more comments than i ever do.
To all u ppl readin my blog, i request to kindly adjust ur TV sets and tune in to Aastha everyday religiously. U will soon discover secrets to get rid of body odour by scratching ur armpits with ur left hand, or realise that by drinking coffee, u are leading mother earth to destruction.
Me of to watch Asstha now, ...one day, I will also have a TV channel dedicated to me and my crap ramblings, one day I will also have a fan following of 20,000+ supportes, one day, I will also be an eighty seven year old with more armpit hair than on my forehead.....I wait eagerly for that day.

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Saturday, March 05, 2005

Ahoy Pune !!! Here I come

okie...I know that most people in this part of the world are packing to leave for Bangalore...to watch Mark Knoppfler Live at palace grounds.....but me...me is packin to go to Pune again...
Yes ppl, I have been selected for Symbi, Pune...So that means i gt to see all that i got a glimpse of during my 3 day trip last week....
Yeeeehaaaaww....Pune City here I come....I get to see hot chicks, i get to attend Rock concerts, I get to watch english movies well in advance and again, i get to see hot chicks.....something i missed the most in hyderabad....
Yeeeeeehaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

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