There is no such thing as too much of chocolate and too many women!!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Oh my God!!

I had an argument with a friend. My last words were precise.

"I'm right!" I said. "Life's meaningless and there is no God."

To prove it, I got out the gun, put it to my head and pulled the trigger. My mind exploded.

Something still bothers me, though... Just can't help wondering about it...

If I was right, how can I be writing this?


Sunday, January 23, 2005

I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes

"Take the blue pill, the story ends,
And you believe whatever you want to believe.
Take the red pill, and i show you how deep the rabbit hole goes...."

Cut to 2005. At this newly opened eating joint where the menu is as bad as a crossword puzzle(cant make head or tail of it).
Then a Morpheus like charecter walks upto Rohit(urff Neo in this scenario) and says
"Take the chicken teriyaki(the only know thingy on the menu), the story ends, and u eat what u wud otherwise eat.
Take the Prawn whateverthatwas and i show u how deep the shit pot goes...."
and Rohit, the self Proclaimed Matrix fan knows, he is the one...and voila goes for the Prawn whateverthatwas...and ever since has been seeing how deep the freaking shit pot goes....7 times already and still counting.......yeaaaaarrrgghhhhhhhh....Damn the Matrix.
I know this is Grose but what to do...had to put it in...
Never, ever by any chance go to this restaurant and order the Prawn whatever....oh the restaurant is called.....Ooops, need to let one rip again....arrgggh...over n out...


Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Leave the gun and take the cannoli

"I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."That's almost the romantic equivalent of that classic Godfather one-liner "Leave the gun and take the cannoli."


Tuesday, January 18, 2005

A Little less conversation!

Thank God for those deep (and dead) German philosopher dudes. They rule! They have a catchall term for every unfathomable emotion, whether it's that bottomless pit of despair or that howling wilderness of misery. It’s called angst. When I wake up on a morning with my brain still pickling from the poison of depressed Russians and can't remember my name, it's called brain damage. Total bescheuert.

Good morning. Wake up and smell the concrete


Monday, January 17, 2005

Nuclear Leak in HYD!!

I remeber my physics teacher telling us abt this scientist(i fail to recollect his name) who stored a lump of Uranium inside his drawers and forgot abt tit completely. and then one day when he opened his drawer, he found strong nuclear emmissions coming from it....if u r wondering why I am talkin abt this crap, then lemme come to the point. I seem to be undergoing a similar experience currently. No i dont have no uranium in my drawer, but i can feel the radiation. After a intense study for abt a week(No wonder I dint blog all this whiile) I have exactly located the spot of emission. and it is right inside my college. This place called "the Students Toilet Block for Gents"......If george bush ever tilts those satellites over to hyd, ppl lemme warn u, they will either go to attack us for possesing WMD's or the amt of radiation will scare the shit outta em.
The last time somebody actually sent H2O inside this block was during the 1912's when Salar Jung was still alive. Believe me, that place hasnt seen water...Pure water i mean ever since.
and half of Nizamians spend their entire day sitting right next to the block in the what ppl call "Food Court".
Any side effects u will ask??? hmmm i have noticed a few ppl balding(not me...i have only had a haircut), i have noticed some amount of hysteria creeping into ppls minds and ooh i forgot, this thing called the beautiful syndrome that is largely affecting the women..urff feminine species....they r beginning to think they r beautiful..and I must say that is is like Tusshar Kapoor beginning to think he can act....
I have been spared from this nuclear Effect so far becos i ardly ever go to college and even if i ever do, i dont bother loitering around places where anything remotely education related happens.....but this thing is spreading and spreading unless i get outta there soon, u mite find me with towo big boobs or something like that......hmmm now wudnt that be interesting???
two big boobs....and then i can ask for reservation...the f%^% 33% reservation that the feminine species have jus cos their balls r higher....
this blog is getting way to perverted and chauvanistic....better sign off before it gets worse....


Wednesday, January 12, 2005

[ R.I.P ] Rest In Peace Posted by Hello


Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Would you believe me if I told you that I was busy studying for an exam, and never found the time to F*&(*@# update my blog?
I knew you wudnt, exactly why I dint bother explaining. the point is that, I have finally found myself the time. The time to enlighten thee abt the intricasies of life(forgive the typos).
It has been quite a week for me. For starters, there was this literary fest called Yuv taal that was happening at HPS, and the brochures which screamed of some reallly cool events attracted me to that place. Spent 3 quality days there trying my hand at anything and everything that came my way, met people i wud never want to meet again,like this dude who had a massive crush on Uma Bharti.....Uma Bharti!!!!!...I mean, if that femme was the last female on earth, I wud mate a cockroach....and then this guy whose T-shirt read, Proud to be MCP..and in small minute letters, MCP= Microsoft Certified Professional....not that it differred greatly from the actual meaning.
The major dissappointment was the lack of chicks at the fest, especially after comin from a fest like Mood-I in Mumbai, this fest had a serious dearth of gurls. To throw more light on this, the gurls who came here from my college were among the hottest chicks around....and believe me if the gurls from Nizam had to be termed as the hottest around, we are talkin of circus ugly crowd.
moving on from the fest, i spent the rest of the week at the regular adda, the place where 65% of people between the ages of 16 & 21 go to...not college re baba, Imax. I was there practically every day of the week. Saw more than 5 movies including 3 on a single day....I am a total fillum Buff.
Watelse, nothing else....otherwise, life has been kinda boring.
Oh! now before u ppl start cribbing again bout this blog not being humorous anymore, lemme tell u, tommorow, there will be a contest on this blog for the worst PJ of the year.
I shall post 3 of the worst pjs I have heard over 2004 and viewers are asked to vote for the King of them all...
so dont forget to tune into sarkarsm, same time tommorow.....


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Kahani Ladke ladke ki!

The Guy's Side of the Story
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends give you.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Another day, another year, another post

Happy Nyoo Year(...can i say "happy belated new year???")
Another day, another year, another post....gosh life is so boring. I seem to be slowly but surely losing interest in blogging these days. Blogging, something i cudnt do without a month back. I still remember, I used to wake up in the middle of the night to take a pee and open my blog just to check if i have had any more hits since i went to sleep.....but alas, all that enthu has gone for a toss. No more waking up in the night, no more regular posting on the blog, no more can brush later, must blog first attitude.....zilch!
I must thank all my loyal comment posters (read Succubus and Sita) for providing me with a reason to blog atleast 2 times a week. As for the others who come read and go, thanq for increasing my Hit -o-meter(if u haven't noticed, i have crossed 1000 hits finally)....
and finally a final word. For all those people rejoicing that this blog is soon going to come to an end, let me take the sadistic pleasure in announcing, I'll be back. same blog, same time tommorow. NO, THIS BloG AINT NO SHUTTING no more, cos I shall be a regular from tommorow, Promish!....
but now, me need some sleep, but tommorow on, full fledged baarish of pjs, bad jokes, feminine admiration and choclate drooling shall barasafy!....till then take care, and above all, Best of Luck!