There is no such thing as too much of chocolate and too many women!!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Writers block

It's getting incredibly harder for me to write, to blog these days. It seems that the part of my brain responsible for verbal faculties has suddenly atrophied! I really don't know what will get me to write on reflex! It used to be so easy. Nowadays, it takes several days for me to stew and simmer my thoughts to give textual form to the intangible images floating in my mind. Several days of stewing that translates to a paltry,one-paragraph entry.
Urrrfffff........kya yahi writers block hai???.....koi mere is haath se pooche...

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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Blogging for the sake of blogging

How does it feel when u move from a city whihc calls a rain that lasts exactly 2 hours as a downpour to a city where it rains for 23hours and 45 minutes in a day non stop?....Welcome to Pune......it is raining so heavily that this city will be so full of Cats and dogs in some time.....and when u have a college that decides to eat up 16 hours of ur precious time everydy.......well u have nothing better to do than to crib...and that is what I am trying to do.
the clothes I washed at 1:13 in the morning 3 days ago are not dry at..(yes I now carry out house hold chores like washing dishes, washing clothes and every other washing except the washing myself part cos there is no time for such non sense.) And thanx to the rains, the gurlsd these days come fully dressed and thus the main inspiration for going to college is also down the drain.....yaaawn, now give me one good reason to go to college.......Sheesh I cant think of any reason whatsoever.......phhhbbbbttt......and btw this is the most bland post on this blog and that is cos I am blogging for the sake of blogging....jus so that this blog doesnt die a unnoticed death......maybe I will blog a better one later......

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Sunday, June 12, 2005

Concentration camp

First post from Pune town....if u thot me is enjoying the chicks, the food and the weather....think again. I am sorry to be cribbin straight off but thats the way it is...I am in concentration camp, where classes start at an unearthly hour of 7:00 in the morning(Yoga, Gym n Aerobics....)....and tyhey go all the way upto sometimes 11:00 in the night. We work 7 days a week yes, even sat and sunday...the only off is on a thursday where we need not come to college....but need to do some crappy social service....not that I dont want to but certtainly not on my off..............Gaaaaaawwwwdddd.....
Ok now for the best part....My class has a minority commitee, they are called the Boys........so that statement shudlet u know what the situatuion is like......but then as it always goes, Women are like domain names....the good ones are already taken......phhhbbbtttt....
I am here at acafe from college....habve another 2 minutes before me attend next class.....btw, if u thot we r lewarning metaphysuics....then worry not, me learning films, me learning ads......so classes are basically screenings of films like the matrix......guess me shudnt crib too much abt this place shud I...
My mobile number has changed, ppl say neer give out info like this over the internet, but me give a damn to the ules.....so here it is.......Wonder who will even bother calling....hehehe9890704523

I repeat 9890704523

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Friday, June 03, 2005

End of chapter 1

All people familiar with me will know that getting my hair cut is one of my favorite passtimes And today I decided to indulge in this pastime of mine for the last time in hyderabad...and here I am with prakash, the regular stylist(Thoda posh bana deta hoon barber ko) getting my hair cut. In the process of some phaltu talk, I let this dude know that probbly I will not be comin back for atleast another 2 years. After the haircut is done, a by-now gloomy prakash tells me"Saab, ab hum haircut karte waqt kiske saat mazaak karenge, Kaun hasaayega hame baal kaat the waqt?...kabhi mauka milaa to zarror aana, hum aapko bahut miss karenge."......For that moment, I suddenly felt important.
Yes as Everybody wud have guessed by now this is probably my Adieu message to all....To everybody who have touched me and my life(Perverts, I am talking of the sentimental touch, the so cliched touch of greeting cards....Ufff kya zamaana hai..). It has been an Honour to know every single one of you...seriously it has been.
This city has showed me all kinds of people, and I have made all kinds of friends in here, from the best to the bestest lot. This is an adieu to everyone of you. Andy, Ashray, Mayank my friends since as long as my memory goes(Baad memory I have)....it was simbbbllllyyy amaajing the times we spent....will miss every second fo that, diya included.....To Navid, Tamzid, Fayaz, Brajesh, Tashi, Sana, satish.....I still cant believe 3 years have gone by so quickly...it was truly an Honour....and lastt but not the least, the blogging community..Sita, Akshata, Ajay...thanq for it all....
Gosh I am making it sound like i am off to kargil to kick some pakistani booty......okie enuf senti, wipe the tears, Rohit is still here, just 12 hours away, one phone call away...and what worse, so is his blog...
Finally, I propose a toast in the name of all of u people ...."Oh toast I love theee verrry much".....Sheeesh, even the tost rejected me......what phuti kismat...I tell u......Cya arnd

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Thursday, May 26, 2005

Cliche

It has been raining treats this summer for me, atleast it is raining something. The verrry fact that I am leaving for Pune has got so many people excited that they are throwing parties. But then, I keep thinking if these treats showered upon me is because everybody thinks this is the last time they will get to treat me or they are all soexcited that they will not have to see this horrendous figure anywhere in hyderabad for the next 2 years and cannot hide their happiness........but either way, as long as I am getting treated....I dont give a rats ass to it...........thank u to all u angels and angelas out there who have helped this garib find his do waqt ki roti.
Do waqt ki roti brings me to the point I wanted to discuss so many times on this blog, but never got the waqt. the ever so Cliched bollywood....and how it manages to sell its crap.
the Andhi maa, the berozgaar baap, Sheru the pet, the villain who makes passes at thy maa when u r young and ofcourse a brother who turns the opp to what u r(sometimes I suspect infidelity, how can god and bad come from the same Coke....I mean womb).....oh I forgot the sis who ties rakhi and gives u her saugandh every year. lets skip the heroine, cos I dont want to get into the issues of running around trees singing, rain rain come again!
the days of the eastman color movies are gone, but the cliches have gone no where. even today the villains will come to attack the hero one by one. They may come in a bunch of 15, but they will mantain one hand distance and finger on the lips action while the hero pitafies each one of them singularly.
Oh and have u noticed, how it begins to rain everytime somebody close to the hero dies in the open, and how the thunder rumbles when an angry convo is happ btw the hero and somebody else, and not to forget how the wid blows exactly when the heroine tries to adjust the pallu of her sari......hmm the association of the weather and bollywood is a long one...really long one
And the mobile phones are the most under utilized piece of equipment in bollywood except for breaking into wierd sonngs ike what is mobile number......otherwise, when the need arises, the mobile does the dissapearing act.For example, when the heros bro meets with an accident, (it will begin to rain), the hero will now not ask for an ambulnce, he will instead go from door to door shouting help help in hindi......Use thy mobile duh dial 1091 Appolo emergency, dont try Yashoda, cos they r hoping that u will never need them....
and last but not the least, how the hero smells a rapist as soon as the pallu of the saree is taken off or worst comes worst, the blouse is torn from a strategic location to satisfy the Censors....is it tan ki durgand? is it lack of deo spray used by the rape victims, or is it a defence mechanism that these women in films posses like a fish which releases a stench when attacked upon?.......I simply fail to understand....yet, I am slave to the bollywood......
God save me!

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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

If u are wondering why I havent posted for so long....then I saw this thing the other day that made me think....and now I am revelling in the after affects of putting my idle brain to work without even oiling it ....
Check this out, I am sure u will get thinking too.
EPIC Program in 2016
Getting back to thinking...will post soon...btw, where have the comments died?....I am contemplating taking the comments box off my blog to save the embarresment of seeing 1 comment in a post I posted a decade ago.....

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

Vrrrrrrrrooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm

Having been an avid F1 follower for quite a while, I admired the ability of these masterful drivers to drive those mean monsters on a neat and clean piece of track. When Narain Karthikeyan got into the F1 scene, it was a bigger moment of pride and I thot the world of him...and I did so till I visited Kerala.
IF u ever are to visit kerala, take one of those bus rides on the private busses that ply. the busses are no monsters compared to the frearis and the BMW's, but these brown and pink painted busses with names like "Beenamol"/"Shibin"/Golden Star", and their ever in a hurry drivers make the ultimate combination for a speed junkie. On roads that are just wide enuf for 2 bicycles to pass thru, these busses zoom past at speeds of 80+mph.
we admire the F1 drivers for manuevering those hi speed machines controlled by electronic chips across tracks that were built to handle the kind of conditions these cars put them in. Spare a thot for the bus drivers here who achieve the same feat on a rickety bus and on tracks that were not meant to be driven on. With Narain karthikeyan driving that yellow machine, the probability of him makin a podium finish is as remote as it raing in hyderabad at the moment....but I believe if v were to replace him with one of those drivers from kerala busses, we mite soon see the monaco grandprix having a new winner. the bus stands are a scene worth watching. these busses come in at high speeds and the cunductor then raps the name of the destination it is headed to in a manner which 50cents wud be proud of....all this while the impatient driver keeps acceerating his bus at neutral. the sole aim of all these drivers is that Beenamol shud get to position x before shymlee(and no shymlee is also not elated to bruce lee)
the transport system there is so precise that ppl schedule thier lves as per the convienice of the busses. So if the 10:30 Shibumon is gone, then the dude will skip his day at office and call in sick.and as u have already noticed, the perverse interest in naming all the busses with nouns synonymous of names of human beings......so as u walk by, dont be surprised if somebody asked u "has haritha gone already?" I spent 15 minutes racking my grey cells and digging into my geneology encyclopaedia to find out who this haritha was and how she was related to me, and ofcourse whether she had gone to wherever?.....it was only when a red colored bus zoomed in witha yellow board on top whihc read Haritha, did i realise who the dude was reffering to......phhhhbpt
I cud actually go on and on abt the different observations I made at these places......but I guess I will stop here......cos this gives me more topics to blog abt in the future..
But i seriously plan to shoot an email to bernie ecclestone askin him to give on of these drivers a shot at F1, I am sure they will give the schumis n the raikonens a run for their money.....vrooom vrooom vrooooooooom......
I guess it is time for Rohit to go now....and no I dont mean the Bus Rohit.....i mean me....adios...vroom vrooooooooooooooooom

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Monday, May 09, 2005

The Most expensive Post ever

This is by all means my most expensive post ever. Do u realise that I have jus walked 1 mile in this scorching evening sun(I cant come here after sunset cos this place shuts down), and am currently paying 35Bucks an hour to enjoy a connection that snaps every 10 minutes and gives me a download speed that Adam n Eve might have had during their time..
And guess what, it took me 3 days to actually find this place cos there is no sign of an internet parlour outside. Actually this aint no internet parlour by any means. It has 1 2 computers that Salar Jung wud be proud of, it has a rickety fan that makes a nice little tune which u cud hear in Hindi cinema soon if Anu malik were to visit this place and above all, this place serves cool drinks like, Golden sun(Fanta), Super Rider(some COla..). Oh u also get a bill for surfing here.
How is vacation in kerala u might ask....hmmm, kerala is fun, its an amazxing place....after all it is "Gods Own Country"......but I wud love it if God took some interest into a few things happening in his country.
Electricity for starters, is an indicator of the meteorology departemnt.... any wind above the speed of 5kmph and the wires snap, if rain's are just 2 hours away, the power snaps and god forbid if u r in for a thunderstorm, then dont expect power to be back for the next couple of days.....phew...all this at a temp of 35 and a humidity level of god only knows what....Phewwww.....
Petition number 2 to god is about the Cable television that ur country has to offer. 40 channels is a good thing if u can spread a good variety among the 40. BUt when u have an option of 35 regional channels, 2 religious channels and 1 Arabian Channel, then its Alarm Bells........Puhleeeeesss god, Get in the HBO, get in MTV atleast get in FTV, I am so friggin tired of Surya, Sun, Kiran and all the other synonyms of the SUN god.....
Finally, the last petition, send some bandwith over to this part of the world. I cannot bear to see ppl actually tryin to download songs at 0.34bytes per second. It pains to see such desperate bandwidth poor citizens....

But rest aside, this place rocks. The food is amazing, th lakes are always full of water, the food is even more amazing, the fish is in Unlimited supply..........and the foooood is simbly superb.....
hmmm..I better post this soon cos I can see the winds gaining speed, last thing now is the power to snap before i publish this longest post of mine...(Did I hear somebody say UPS..phhhbtt...)....
btw, I guess I have taken full fayida of my 35 bucks....longest post in some time I shud say...
me off for some more amazing fooooood.........
*GOD, please consider petition 1, 2 carefully.........please do...

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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

In conversation with.....

I think I deserve a break from life.....NO more computers, no more TV no more anything...jus me and nature.........Am hitting Bglr today and then move on to Kerala to meet my roots........and in that place, internet is a distant dream. SO that means no more posts till 19May......
Coconut water, Sea food, Swimming in the lakes, here i come........
......
in the words of Karan Johar.....
"In conversation with the most boring person on earth, Rohit Raj......do go anywhere, we will be right back after the break to bore you more...."

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Friday, April 29, 2005

101 New Messages

I'm about to sleep and my mobile fone blinks in pitch black darkness. WTF, not another SMS spam. I don't want to download a"Nuvvu naato ikada thudu" ringtone nor do i want to take Rahul Dravid on a date, and I am quite happy with my bike, I dont need no maruti car that u give everyday. Me want to go to sleep.
Ever since Hutch has made SMS free within its network, I have found new admirers in my frends who refuse to sleep without smsing me gudnite at 2:00AM.
and then there is the friggin question aire senders, whoput ur gray cells to test with questions like
"Would you save the one you love or someone who loves you?"
.....Halllooo ppl, I am no beauty and this aint no beauty pageant.....Y the f*&^ are u askin me this.....all i ask of is some sleep.

What is worse is the crapyola like sms messages u get....
the following is a prayer from the lakshmipathy balaji temple.
Om LalluSonia namaha
Malllika kapde nahin pahanaha
Tu jaa doob maraha
If u dont send this message to 10 ppl, bad luck will fall upon u.

Y dont u realise, if i sent it to 10 ppl, i wud be charged 10 friggin bucks, which is as bad as any bad luck.
Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss.........I beg of u all spamers, I do not want to win prizes, I dont care a rats ass abt Chiranjeevi Ringtones and I believe God is within and dont need no prayer from AbeyKuruvilla temple to get rid of my bad luck syndrome.
..........I simply fail to wonder the situation when Hutch decides to make all otugoing frm Hutch to hutch free.........
last thing i want at 2 in the night is creeepy female voice tellin me "My Rohit, we have a wunderful washing machine which cud be yours if u answer the following 3 questions..."
One tight Slap.....
*how peaceful were those days when there were no mobile phones.......How so peaceful........

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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Be right Byaaack

This is the longest vacation i ever took from blogging I guess...hmm cant blame me though. Well considering the fact that I have no exams to study for, no more college to go to, no more CAT coaching classes to attend and Nothing else to do, how do u expect me to find time for blogging. Actually I wudnt even have bothered putting this post up, but then Sita so graciously printed this Obituary of me n my blog, that it was time to remind u earthly beings of my existence.
The Rohit phenomenon is not over yet. I will be back, in an hour, a day, a week or a month......but I sure will be back........
Actually, I think its now time to spruce this blog up a bit.....maybe start posting everyday n stuff.....hmmm......nice proposition.
but or now, lemme get back to what i was doin......"Nothing"......aand when I am done....I shall be right back.

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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Superhero

This is a story of a world where there are a lot of women, and no men. there is also one more thing that is in plenty in this land.... Technology. I have been brought up to learn the hard fact that women and technology simply do not go hand in hand....they simply dont.
Now comin back to my story, in this wonderland, with the advent of technology and the lack of understanding of technology by women lead to a lot of problems......they lived in darkness cos some of em dint know how to change a light bulb, some froze to death in winter, cos they refused to understand how the friggin AC cud be switched off......well we are talkin of the 80% female population of this world here.....the 80% who simply fail to understand technology......NOw this population tries its best to face the problem, but with the situation aggravating by the day, it was time to do what they do best......So a bunch of jokers walk upto a mandir and matha thekafy in front of the bhagwaaan....they pray for safety they pray for a rakshak.
*Thunder blazes, lightning strike, and more thunderr rumbles.....(Fullto Filmi style)....and then it begins to rain...and rain hard.......and then another lightning strikes and a Voila...A super Hero is born.......Bhagwaaan ne unki sun lee...(sun lee for the unkown souls is not Bruce lee brother...it is hindi for "heard it")...the Super Hero had an R on his T shirt....and do I also have to bother tellin u who the Hero was??......yes ppl obviously it was RAMU.....the favourite name in the 70's.
NOw Ramu was sent to earth to help the pooor technologically challenged women change their ways......within 15 minutes of his entry, he is posed with 378564 problems.....NOw Ramu the super hero needs to devote enuff time to all of these problems...so in total Class2 style, he says..."Finger on ur lips, stand in line.....mantain one hand distance.......and come one by one..."
IN 3 days he spends, he is posed with all kinds of questions ranging from...."will a virus laden floppy send virus to another floppy if i keep em next to each other???'
"Where do i find a caps Unlock key?...."
"which side of CD shud face down?"
and not to mention the various dumb answers he got to queries he posted to them...
Super hero: How much RAM do u have?
Ans: 3, One in sittin room, 2 in Puja room....oh 1 Ram poster in kitchen also
Superhero:What is ur connection speed?
Ans: My connection speed is verrrrry fast......(pppl u have a number system with units to describe ur speed)
Superhero:What Bus does ur motherboard support?
Ans....errr.......aheem....I think u were gramtically wrong, but i understood ur query....I am smart.......My mother no boarding bus sirrr....she have her car.....oh but if car break down. she board 24E....

this was it.....Mr.Superhero cudnt take it any more....he goes back to the same mandir and also matha thekafys......prays brays, confesses....does everything...........and waits for miracle to happen........"Please take me back God...this is not the Job of 1 superhero.....I need back up..and if u cant take me back.....then atleast send back up.....puhleeeeeesss send backup..."
Again lightining strikes....thunder rumbles...and all the above mentioned steps take place.....and a new Superhero is born...and another one...and another.........SOoon, God created a superhero for every Female on planet earth.......One superhero to help em all...one superhero to save em.....and collectively, he called them.....MAN.
This my friends is the closesly gaurded truth about evolution...and all that evolution crap that charles darwin gave is complete bull crap.......

Oh now before any of u female fraternity burn up my blog....lemme say there are always exceptions.....ofcourse I know women who can reprogram the Ipod to play wma and attract3....I also know women who cangenerate electricity from a potato.....and above all, I know a lot of femme....who can Blog.......and nothing is more challenging thatn to blog.
These were the few exceptions.....that wud anyway exist....hehe but the rest....well.....for the rest, we have the superheros.......
* proposes toast...to all the women who read this blog.....welcome to the technically brilliant lot.......it takes skill to understand my blog anyway.....

P.s:the last comment was the "save my ass, save my blog" comment...hehehe

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Thursday, April 14, 2005

Memo to Stephen Covey.
A win/win situation only exists in utopia and not in this purgatory. In reality, people are inherently selfish and utilitarian, user-friendly individuals who suddenly remember your name when they need something from you. On other days when they don’t need anything from you they can’t even remember your first name. That thought brings me to a syllogistic deduction: If you are needed, you exist. If you are not needed, you are left for dead. Someone please Latinize that phrase for me.

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Friday, April 08, 2005

National integration......

U know what i love the most about India? The very fact that 1 billion people from different religions, races and castes co exist.....and coexist in the most sweet manner. I mean, leave aside a few stray incidents like the godhra or the riots in Mumbai....these were all politicaly motivated ones....adn for a country with a population of 1 billion, 1 riot in 10 years is acceptable.comin back to the point, this integration, is visible everywhere u go, in the malls, in the apartments, in the nukkads...almost everywhere.......but today, iwanna talk abt this bonding in a diff place altogether....
How many of u have travelled by train to chennai?.....if any of u have, u will understand my point even better. the train zooms into Chennai early in the morning, around say 8:00Am, but before that, it passes through some remote areas of Tamil Nadu. The point is at 7:00 in the morning, we have people, goin at their morning activities...and in remote places like these, open fields are a replacement for the shit pots...
Hmm...what a sight it is...I must tell u. 15 people sitting in a row, with nothing more than a lotta(a small copper vessel/plastic in this case...to hold water...Phirangs, imagine liquid toilet paper please) in hand, chatting away to glory,.....ohand i forgot...also attending to the natures call(slang for shit..as if shit was not slang enuf). Robert, Hari, Illias, GuruGobind and Thomas.....all of them stitting next to each other oblivious to what the world is doin.........go ahead with their duties.
best part, they wave at you when the train passes by.....simply amazing it is.....
this is where the true spirit of national integration lies......and this is eggjactly wht i tried to capture during a painting competition at school.......but alas my principal never agreed with it....i was asked to bring my parents for drawing "obscene pictures"......Now, where is the vulgarity in national integration i ask u......simply fail to understand.....

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Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Alien Abduction!

Have you ever been abducted by an alien??.....Well, I have. Last evenming, 3 aliens walked into my house disguised a 3 friends of mine and took me along with them to their spaceship....It was this huge place, full with lights and all. they also had about 100 seats to seat all the abducted human souls.The space ship also had an entry charge of 60 bucks and this was not inclusive of a wierd food they served ....something called popkorn......
The spaceship was huge...really huge...at first i was reallly excited but then the nightmare began.the lights dimmed slowly and the spaceship became dark, and suddenly this huge screen in front of the chairs lit up....it lit up to two words....
"TANGO CHARLIE"
and voila, I knew this wud be the most ominous torture i wud ever have to go thru. Two people who cannot act, a gurl who cus well serve as a cl;own in the Russian circus, a story that a two year old cud have written better and lot of shouting and blood shedding later, the torture came to an end.....The lights came on..and i thot it was all over.....but heck no...These aliens were the sympathetic lot.....they give u a break btwn their tortures..and in this break they feed you with more crappy substances that make u lose control over ur self will....and then, they begin the procedure all over again....
More bad actors, more crappy stories, more unbeautiful women......I cud not hndle it anymore..my head was spining, my throat was goin dry, two more minutes and I wud become one of them........so i decided to take a chance and run, escape call it whatever u want to.........I carpe diem(sieze the oppurtnity), and ran for my lfe....I have never driven so fast to get home...like i did yest.......
I survived an alien abduction.....I doubt if the others in the sapceship did.....really do doubt it!

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Saturday, April 02, 2005

Make love.......

I have carried a post before on how we Indians mess up the queens language....and i thot v were the best at it when we used sentences like, "Am i a father or a mother" to find out if I have a son or a daughter..............I thot so until i came accross this guy from Iran.
What u r about to witness is a tale of Love, a tale of rejection, a tale of suppression and a tale of Lust rolled into one......basically a hatke story.
Once upon a time, in a land far far away called basheerbagh, there was this college called Nizam college, where people from diff countries happen to cnstitute a major part of the population. admist this whole set of foriegn students ws this dude from iran, lets call him Kyupid...and at the end we can also call him styupid......but nywasy comin to the point.......I thin this story wud better be told if i said it from Kyupids perspective....
P.s: All the typos u see now aint the resultof bad typing....its jus the way he writes....the dude writes english the way he says it...so...no offends..
One day, I cum to kolej and i c this gul walking in the tree. my hart went lost seeing the gul of my dreems....she was a butiful gul n i no that she be my gf..
so i ask her out.....
Kyupid: hey, will u go moveee?
Gurl: what moveee?
Kyupid:I want to take u for moveee...will u go movee ??
(Now the gurl likeshim as a frend...but certainly doesnt want him as Boyfrend)
Gurl:NO I have to study u c....i have exams comin up
Kyupid:...but only 1 moveee i ask...u no go 1 movee wimeee...what??
Gurl:See dude...I have to study, i cant waste time on movie....after exams i will come with u for movie
Kyupid: ok live it....
Gurl:Live it??....live what???
Kyupid:no, live it...live it
Gurl:Live what ????
Kyupid:Live the movie
Gurl:what live the movie....how can i live the movie...?
Kyupid:SO u no live the movie...u go movie with me??/
gurl:U meant leave it??.....oh my gaaawd....
Gurl:NO NO ON....I cant come for movie with u now!!!

cut to scene 2 of conversation....now guy decides to propose to the gurl

Kyupid:U know watt?
gurl:yeah, i do....did he not make the electric bulb??
Kyupid:No no...not thaat watt, i am sayin my watt
Gurl:Ur watt,what is ur watt?.....(*thinks iski watt lag gayi)
Kyupid:U know u c me as frend. i see u as frend...but inside hart of me, i make love to u
Gurl.WHAT????(* astonished at the guts that he has to reeal his fantasies)
Kyupid:yes...I laff with u ...but in hart and mind i will make love to u only..aalways
Gurl is speechless
Kyupid:I want u as my gurl frend, and i praamis to make love to u always...
Gurl.....its time to call the cops look
Kyupid:U no make love to me....atleast one u must have think abt makin loe to me ...
Gurl:NO I never ever thot of makin love to u.....
GUrl:I dont think u understand...i like u as a feend...GF is not my thingy for u...
Kyupid:okie ive it then
kyupid:I think i made love 1 time...but u fail it for me....now i no make love again......love make is only in movies...
kyupid:I am sari i thot u also make love to me...
Gurl:Gaaawd help me outta here....

Well well well....Moral of the story is....When an irani guy wants to make love to u....it means he is in love with u...do not misunderstand him...
the above storyis inspired from incidents that occured in real life...
all charecters bear resemblance to someone living or dead....and do not think it is purely coincidental........
I wish a gurl fomr iran camme and tol me..
Rohit...i want to make love ot u ....
hmmm

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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Tommorow is there or not.............

" A bewildering plot, baroque costumes, baby-faced stars, and one memorable Burman hit (Kya huaa, tera vaada, “What happened to your promise?”) mark this as a quintessential 1970s masala potboiler. The presence of international smugglers, a cross-border abduction, helicopter chases, funny cars, frenetic camera work, and jarring visual discontinuities is all likewise standard for the genre and era."
This is Hindi cinema for u...and this is something the rest of the world has not seen....Toady, sitting at the canteen doin nothing as usual, me and a frend decided it was time to show the worrrrllllddd our great indian cinemaaa.
So if v can have a Die another day in telugu titled bhooloka veeerudu....do not ask me the actual translation...i remember the title thats it...and then we have charlies angels in Hindi as "teen devian".......why not do the same with Hindi fillums...So v have chalked out a plan, we will now dub every hit Hindi movie into english and take it to the firangs.......
in the pipeline are a few titles........
Something something happens..................Kuch Kuch Hota hai
Sometimes happy sometimes sad...............Kabhi khushi kabhi gum
People with hearts take the bride away........DDLJ
We gave away my heart dear....................Hum dil de chuke sanam
and last but not the least....
Tommorow is there or not..............kal ho na ho...

considering the response to these 5 biggies, we wil think abt releasing the lesser hits includint B-grade movies for the front benchers.....first in the pipeline wil be..
Tuesday in the forest.................jungle mein mangal
I must say....Blur..U shud do a small survey for us and find out the taste of the firangs there......I mean we want to enter enemy territory fully prepared.......
Is there any movie that also needs to be on this list?.....please enlighten me ...

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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

jack of all trades

A rolling stone gathers no moss. That's what my folks and Bob Dylan say but fuck it, I'd rather rock n' roll than gather moss.

A rolling stone is a round one. At least that's how I describe my ever evolving life for now. There are still 999 things left undone out of the infinitesimal infinity that is life. Never settle and never stop learning.

Got a lot of things to learn from people. From you. From me. From them. From heroes and anti-heroes. Got to learn how to cook the perfect lasagna or play an acoustic guitar. Play with the reasons of light or read Neruda by the seashore. There is no such thing as a romantic life, only a romanticized life.

So I'll keep the stone rolling by getting a cookery class certificate and 6 months acoustic guitar lessons. Just for the pure fun of it.

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Friday, March 25, 2005

Do me a favour lets play Holi!

"Do me favour lets play holllliiiiiii
Rango mein hai pyaaar ki bolllliiiiiiii
...................
..............................
....................................
Ja re ja u dont touch my choli.."
If u havent guessed it yet, theese are th lyrics to the latest Anumalik song from Waqt....Akshay kumar n priyanka chopra.....
It currently tops my list of cheesy songs...whcih also include
Kua mein doob jaaongi - Page 3
Dont touch Dont touch - Raja Bhaiya
Teri Kurti Suxy lagdi hai - Vaada
I love u like crajeee - Fida

Enurf.....boy what do ppl think of when they actually write such cheesy stuff.....I mean..gimme a break!
oh btw, before i forgt, here is a happy holi to all of u...the main reason for this post....
Jus came back after watching ppl lght up this chick called Holika...hmm another gurl off the list....People do u realise that we have a dearth of women already.....and killin more of them will only cause a bigger problem!!.....remeber club 67...(for every 1000 males there are 933 females....for the remaining 67 males, v have club 67)

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Record Tod!

Went on a nostalgia drive the other day during a chat session with Blur. Apparently the two of us went to the same college(yes i am educated and i did go to college...its another story that i never attended classes), we also went to the same coaching classes, and coincidentally, we were both at the same place at the same time....a lot of times....when she went for morning walks and i went to gaze at gurls out there for morning walks.....but this post is not abt where both of us went, and y both dint meet till date. This post i about a few achievments of mine at the dreaded hell called Little flower Junior college(LFJC for short), which till date hold as a record of sorts.

I am still the official holder of the record for being the only person in the history of LFJC to be thrown out of class on the verrry first day.
I mean cmon ppl, what do u do when u go to this new place for the first time and u encounter a totla besuraaah voice shouting at the top of his lungs..."Hey Prabhu darshan do...." whcih apparently was the prayer....i just burst out laffing and was thrown out of class.

I also hold the record in LFJC for being the only person to be given a "strict warning" by every lecturer in LFJC, inluding the librarian......the librarian cos i changed the wallpaper on the computers from the LFJC logo to Riya sen in a bikini!!!

I am probably among the verrry few ppl who managed to mantain 4 diaries, and 7 identity cards throughout their tenure of 2 years. 4 diaries meant no diary had more than 5 leave records marked on them....and the 7 identity cards helped me bunk classes everytime, a class whose ID card i possesed had a free time...heheh smart or what!!

Bahadur the watchman earned more than the principal did only becos of people like us who wanted to leave college even before it actually started....5 bucks to leave on foot, 10 to leave with a bike and 25 to leave with a car.....and with aatleast 50 ppl doig this eeryday on an average and the number hitting as high as 100 on a friday, U cud well imagine the moolah he made...

And last but not the least, till the last day of college, I had broken 27 testubes, 11 burretes n pippetes, stolen 4 mouse balls, and mixed all the conc acids with a chemical called H20 whihc makes em the diluted acid.......so much as a revenge to what that hell offered me...

I still think all these records Hold. and if bro James ever read this blog, I am sure no amt of armour wud protect me....he wud actualy nuke me......cos I always used full faida of being a mallu n he being a mallu too...so everytime i awanted leave, it was always.."I aqm off to kerala for a vacation sir"....or ..."Sir, I have IIT coaching all day today sir"....and he always believed me...
hehehe

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